Is this man interested in me?

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Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 28 total)
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  • April 5, 2018 at 9:43 am #749390

    What? I’m not saying it’s comparable. Just disagreeing with the statement that people always like who they’re dating.

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    Fyodor
    April 5, 2018 at 9:46 am #749392

    As someone who started dating late, it’s not unusual for men who haven’t dated much to not have a good sense for when to make the first move or not have a lot of confidence about doing so.* If you otherwise like him and enjoy your dates I’d give it some time, maybe send him some signals, hold his hand, initiate some physical contact etc. You could also smooch him too and see how he responds.

    If you don’t want to do deal with this crap or you’d like someone who has more initiative on the physical side, that’s certainly your prerogative. As others have noted, it’s possible that he’s gay or uninterested in you physically or something else. But if you are generally enjoying yourself with him and he otherwise seems interested, you might give it some more time and give him some encouragement.

    *I still get deeply deeply embarrassed thinking about how clueless when I was younger. When I was in my early-mid 20s I had a girl invite me in to watch a movie *on her bed* and it didn’t occur to me that she didn’t want to do anything other than watch a movie and was confused for a while about why she never returned my calls after what seemed like a fun date.

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    April 5, 2018 at 10:40 am #749393

    I agree about making a move first. I do not agree with an earlier comment that it sets a precedent of you having to do everything. If he’s wondering, perhaps, whether you are into him, then this solves that problem and he may be more confident in the future. If you make a move and then he still doesn’t make any of his own, then you can move on. I think it’s a little premature to wait around, do nothing, and then write him off. I think a lot of people also THINK they are coming across as more obviously interested than they are.

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    LisforLeslie
    April 5, 2018 at 10:44 am #749394

    @Fyodor – I read a whole thread on reddit from guys that just missed on all the signals… so innocent it’s delightful.

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    BlatantlyBored
    April 5, 2018 at 11:31 am #749398

    I think you should make the move. At the end of the night, say how you feel and straight up ask him if you can kiss him. I’ve done this before and guys have found it really endearing. It shows you have respect and confidence.

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    Cinda
    April 5, 2018 at 12:05 pm #749402

    Well he just told me he isn’t “feeling it” I actually think he’s not over his ex yet. As when we talked about things he kept referring to him and her as “we” even though I know they are not together. Least I know now. But I seem to be repelling men so much these days. What is wrong with me?? I mean I know I’ve put a little weight on over the years but would that really be a turn off.

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    April 5, 2018 at 12:09 pm #749403

    Nothing is wrong with you! A lot of people jump right into dating sites after a breakup or divorce, before they’re anywhere near ready to date, and they waste other people’s time.

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    Juliecatharine
    April 5, 2018 at 12:59 pm #749412

    Now you know so you don’t need to waste any more energy on thinking about this. It really isn’t you, if anything you should be patting yourself on the back for picking up that something wasn’t really on track here. It’s always good to listen to your gut and you sorted this pretty quickly. Generally speaking guys won’t leave you wondering when they’re serious about you. Even the awkward ones might bumble but they make it clear.

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    Fyodor
    April 5, 2018 at 1:14 pm #749413

    Most people you date won’t go anywhere.

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    Fyodor
    April 5, 2018 at 1:15 pm #749414

    Meaning, the dating won’t go anywhere. The people themselves will go somewhere else, either by your choice or theirs.

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    April 5, 2018 at 3:48 pm #749435

    So in my experience, if I haven’t kissed a guy by the third or maaaybe fourth date, it’s not going anywhere.

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    Northern Star
    April 5, 2018 at 5:09 pm #749441

    Copa, I agree. I’ve seen it with my friends and online dating, too.

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Is this man interested in me?

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