man venting and looking for help … not sure what to do
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Yeah I do read it that way, likely because I have felt like a burden sometimes. And I’ve just started working and being really busy again and am constantly tired.
Mike, you seriously got your feelings hurt that we reacted to that comment? I’m sorry I didn’t read it properly. I am alarmed at what you said and really, truly hope you will be honest or have been completely 100% honest with the doctors and mental health professionals treating you.
Four children and a grown woman …you have imagined your family dead in an accident and life being easier for you.
Men really do kill their families becaus they think that’s easier than getting a divorce, disappointing their living parents, etc that “hassle” of it all.
Do not kill your family. Divorces can be easy if you want to get away. Maybe your commute will be minimal then.
There is a coldness, a mechanicalness to what you wrote. You commute, you work, you’re no pt happy or unhappy, you’re just there. You should print this out and bring you your dr appointment. You think a man is supposed to be fruitful, multiply and sacrifice for the family he doesn’t express any emotional connection to? It sounds a little off. Why are you suffering so much for a woman you don’t love? You paint yourself as the superhero- are you? You can’t even be honest with her about how you really feel. Tell her.
Vulnerability would be like, “I’m scared to tell my wife I’m not happy and want a divorce. I feel like a bad person.” Toxic masculinity is when you’re like, “it’d be easier for me if they all died so I wouldn’t have to be the bad guy.”
Right, there is no emotional connection being communicated here. She’s “sweet,” and they have sex regularly. There’s not even a longing for an emotional connection that existed in the past.
this is really off to me.
Yeah, so I could move closer and do want? Look for the next wife to mate with and become despondent about? This is very odd, Mike. We’ve seen a lot.
Did you really see your doctor so quick? My dr wouldn’t prescribe antidepressants- I had to be referred to a psychiatrist, by the way. I have depression, and when I was depressed I had feelings…lots of them. And they were all very bad and dark but they were all about me…
And I’ve never ever imagined what you casually mention. And I consider myself a pretty dark person, given the mode. I’ve been through terrible things. You scare me, Mike.
Life is sacred.
Wow you’ve never had intrusive thoughts? I have. They are scary but I suppose it’s something we don’t talk about so people don’t realize that yes, you can have a thought that is beyond irrational and if you acted on it would likely put you in jail. But you don’t act on it because … jail. Also, not being a monster.
Point being I don’t want to harm myself or anyone but sometimes for a moment, I think “wow this would all stop if…”
But I get the reaction; if you could hear my thoughts, you’d call the police.
As for the meds, I know plenty of women whose PCP gave them a prescription immediately when they said they were having a rough time of it emotionally Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Lexapro. Men should be given the same immediate treatment. If your doctor is making it hard for you to get on meds, I don’t think that is a good doctor. Why should we make people jump through hoops for mental health?
I meant he got that appointment and help very quickly after writing in. Technically possible, but you know that we get folks on here say they are doing exactly what commenters told them to do, but actually didn’t.
Oh, I’ve had intrusive thoughts. Just not that dark. No, I’ve never thought about how easier my life would be if my entire family died in accident, together. And I’ve had my own dark thoughts deeply analyzed in therapy.
This wasn’t just an intrusive thought, he is so cold and mechanical in speaking about life, responsibility, the people he supposedly loves.
No, I’ve never fantasized about my entire family dying.
Hey, I’m just writing from my own experience in decades of mental health treatment.
PCPs are not psychiatrists. They are not mental health professionals and should not be treating their patients as if they are one. They will prescribe IME, but only for short periods, they don’t want to be prescribing medication for problems they have no expertise in. In my experience, they’ll give you a few months with the caveat you see a psychiatrist. And yeah, I think a good doctor says, hey, I’m not actually educated in mental health illnesses, you should see a real professional. General practitioners are not doctors of the mind.
No, I’ve also never had intrusive thoughts that would put me in jail. I’d go see a Dr if I did. I’ve been suicidal. I’ve never thought of offing my family or hurting anyone else, ever. I’m sure maybe it’s common? but I don’t think it’s normal or okay for a man to be thinking about his family that way. It doesn’t sound like he was having an intrusive thought, it sounds like he actually has thought about it, in his logical cold manner, enough to write in here. But you know, what do I know?
I haven’t either. I’m not a parent, but I’ve been married twice and had another long-term relationship. Have always been the one doing the breaking up. Have never thought about my life being easier if they died. My intrusive thoughts are usually like I want to punch someone, or I’m scares my husband will have a heart attack while racing.
