Kate I get what you’re driving at but you don’t live here and despite being informed of the situation you’re still painting legal brothels as these diseased hell houses with standover men counting cash at the door when that’s simply not true. I personally know two women who were receptionists at legal brothels. They were both older women with families who didn’t work with the men. The brothels have security guards (demanded by law), the women can refuse bookings and the brothels have to follow federal laws about age, service of alcohol, use of protection, all that jazz.

Is it the job most women aspire to? No but attitudes about them being desperate whores are just demonizing sex workers unnecessarily. Having worked with people with disabilities I got to hear of a wonderful lady in Sydney who looked after men with disabilities almost exclusively. She has a masters degree and is a passionate advocate for sex worker’s rights. She’s not coerced, she just has a genuine belief in how what she’s doing is helping: https://jezebel.com/5863635/the-awesome-sex-worker-who-loves-disabled-clients

Fine, Ange, I said a couple of times that legal brothels may not be as bad. And you’re completely missing my point if you think I’m demonizing the women.

That’s the worldwide situation, yes. I’m happy if it’s not like that for Australian sex workers, but I feel like everyone is smoking some weird shit if they think most sex workers have it any kind of good.

All right, well, you did say you were pushed into marriage.

That’s good that you talked about it and seeing a counselor.

She says she snooped on him because she was curious, not because she was unhappy in her marriage or had any cause for concern. She says any slight concerns she had were rooted in her prior 6-year relationship with the serial cheater. She says that her husband is a great man and that she doesn’t want to harm her marriage. She says her husband and his family have treated her great. She says that her husband is ashamed of his brothel visits and that it is in the past.

So… how much detail of his sexual history does he owe her? How much detail of her 6 years with the serial cheater does she owe him? Each individual has certain things which skeeve them out. She’s entitled to be skeeved out by his brothel visits. He’s allowed to be skeeved out that she stayed with and had a son with a guy who cheated on her repeatedly over at least years, but it sounds like just about the whole time she was with him.

Really, pretending that a legal, regulated brothel in Australia is the same sort of thing that one would find in Thailand, etc. is an over-the-top reaction which is not going to help this young woman, who likely has no idea what a legal brothel is, if she’s never been to Australia.

I can go to my local bar and drink a draft beer — no fuss, no bother. I can go to the local state store and get a couple bottles of wine or a fifth of gin and bring them home and drink them over an embarrassingly long period of time. Again, no big deal. Not at all the same thing as going to a speakeasy in Al Capone’s Chicago, with all of the rum-running related killing and mayhem, which came with prohibition. You can buy and smoke marijuana — no big deal where it’s legal, or you can buy it in an American city, where rival drug dealers murder each other over their sales turf and people commit thefts to pay for drugs. The difference between the legal enterprise and the illegal one is stark. Let’s not pretend that all, or even most, of the problems with the illegal version carry over to legalized sales.

I did a little reading specifically on the parts (less than half) of Australia where brothels are legal and regulated, and it does sound like it’s the best possible scenario for sex workers. So, again, great for them. They have protections from violence and they keep half the money they earn. They still get hurt and there are drug problems and suicide, but on the whole it’s okay for them and they can make money. It’s unfair to stigmatize them, Ange is right.

That said, prostitution worldwide, including right here in the US, is all kinds of fucked up. It seems like what makes the difference – as I’ve been saying all along – is legality WITH regulation. The guys will still try to do stuff to the workers that they shouldn’t, but they’re able to say no and get help. Their bosses aren’t beating them up and controlling them.

Sadly though, Australia is one of the high-trafficking destinations of the world. It’s a huge place, and the majority doesn’t have regulated brothels.