Also, I was responding to the part where “the worst thing is someone’s tarnishing my reputation!” I was saying some tarnished anyones reputation. People generally do that themselves.

You are easily offended and that will cause you serious problems in your role in the church and life in general. You were looking for this caterer to mess up and you were locked and loaded. The caterer was out of your chain of command. But your biggest issue is losing your temper and yelling because someone questioned your integrity. So basically you acted without integrity for your integrity being questioned. I suggest that you stop caring for what others think of you. In this case, state the facts as you see them and end the conversation with a statement that you will not discuss this further until the pastor has spoken to the people that were berated. You could have asked the pastor for their advice on how that situation should have been handled also you could have asked the details of what the witness said like was it my body language, tone, or words. But, most important, and I repeat, if you know that you have acted with integrity then don’t lose your temper. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

You come across as immensely sactimonious in this and your previous post. It was not your place to reprimand the caterer – and, Ewe, how inappropriate to chastise an adult even if you “pulled them off to the side”. That is something an adult would do to a child. Not a 3rd-year seminary student who “came to the ministry later in life” – so you are older than the average 3rd year and should have more life experience. Maybe even held down a job or two?

If your mother was dissatisfied with the buffet offerings it was up to her to speak to the Council or the minister. Once again you feel the need to protect the lesser female – as if she is incapable of speaking for herself. And let’s not forget about defending the honor of the indigenous attendee – because they are also unable to speak for themselves. Great of you to be the lone protector of the downtrodden – all the while keeping them firmly in your imagined place of inferiority.

That is what this is all about – your need to feel superior to literally everyone around you. The students from your prior post, the Parish Council, your ministers, the caterer, your mother…the list, I am sure, just goes on.

This is not a good look for a future minister. I suggest you do some literal soul searching, talk to an advisor, heck, take a sabbatical, and figure out why you act this way.

Not to defend my behaviour, I was in the wrong.

However I do think one or two people have misunderstood somethings here which I would just like to correct. Yes the caters offering were not as requested, but that was not the core of my issue. The core was that he yelled my mother when she asked him a simple question, when the minister and I were in another room (due to the number of guests we were using two halls) and while the minister was still in said other room I personally witnessed him berate another person in a semipublic fashion after my mother had told me what happened to her.

I did not berate him. I corrected him. I admit that the manner in which I corrected him may have been threatening or condensing and I need to do better in future. However, I did at no point yell at him, raise my voice to him, lay a hand on him (except when I shock his hand) or otherwise display aggressive behaviour. My language may have been passively threatening, and timing poor, but that is the extent of it.

Since the event took place further complaints (unsolicited by me) have come forward about the caterer and he has been blacklisted regionally.

As I do a bit of public speaking I know how to control tone of voice and voice projection. If I had intended to yell at him the whole hall, and everyone in it would have heard me. There have not been multiple complaints about my behaviour; there has been one. This complaint I know came from member of the congregation and not the caterer or another member of PC (as neither would be able to do some anonymously under our processes).

My behaviour was definitely poor and I did not emulate Christ in the best way possible on the day. I accept that. I do realize I was in the wrong and that I acted as the proverbial fool. I just wanted to correct some misunderstanding regarding the degree to which I screwed up. I admit I did screw up.