What Wendy’s Done for Me (and maybe you?) – A List
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- This topic has 53 replies, 39 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 9 months ago by beenice.
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February 10, 2012 at 4:02 pm #12044
Thank you Wendy! You helped me out by answering my letter when I was really stressed. I learn so much from reading this website (and also from the other commenters!) about relationships. And when I’m having boy problems, I often think about what my “letter” would look like, and what you, and everyone else would say. Sometimes even just visualizing “he hasn’t called me or texted me in 3 weeks, what does this mean?” I can come to the conclusion to MOA! 🙂
And yes, DW helped me to discover Addie Pray! (happy, Addie?? haha). But truly, I consider her a friend — we communicate with each other more than some of my closest friends! And while I’ve never met any of you in person, I do consider many of you to be friends. You guys know more about me — my desires, my goals, my personality — than a lot of people who are acquainted with me in person.
What I love best about DW is the awesome community we have, like RR said, I can share more with you people than pretty much anyone else. Thank Jebus for the deleted posts from a few weeks back. 🙂
Also, just reading the letters and all the advice I feel has really opened my mind (and makes me realize that some problems I feel are oh so tragic are nothing compared to what so many people go through).Thank you Wendy for creating and fostering this wonderfully insightful and supportive community. Clearly you set the bar for all the commentators – and it’s wonderful you set it so high. This sight has opened me up to more shades of gray – and I’m definitely richer for it.
Through all the great advice I read on here everyday, I am able to help out other people I know better. I am CONSTANTLY saying, oh there was a letter like that on DW. you should read that website, its helped me so much! and then i take wendy’s advice and apply it to my friend and familys situations. i can remember one specific instance where a friend of mine texted me with, “is it bad that i want to show my boyfriend an engagement ring I found online but he doesnt want to get married yet and i dont want to pressure him?” I literally texted back, go on dear wendy and search for engagement letters. it will help you so much! i hope she did.
very specifically to me, wendy showed me that it is ok to be scared to get married. it is ok to be scared and excited and nervous about something so life changing all at the same time.
wendy has shown me that having a baby is a big deal, and hard work!
and finally, wendy has given me a place to talk to a bunch of awesome people who i have never met (but will meet in march- yea colorado meetup!!), but who are still here for me. i know that i could get the best advice ever by just going on here and asking anything on the forums or on a weekend open thread or by emailing wendy herself.
i said this on another post a little while ago, but who else can say that they have a DW bestie?! i can!! haha, lookin at you painted lady!
…addie and RR, you can steal “DW bestie” from me if you want.. lol
From DW, I’ve learned what a good relationship should be like. All the letters are about problems in relationships, and how they should be dealt with. I’ve learned that it’s important to communicate about problems, and that the other party, as well-intentioned as they may be, cannot read minds.
I’ve also learned that it’s not healthy to put all the blame on myself, and the way someone else behaves is not a reflection of me, just them. And the hardest thing, when you realize that, is to let go (of anger, of hope). I’ve dated a couple of people lately, and although it was hard to MOA and let go, I know, at least on an intellectual level, that it was the right thing. Emotionally, I’m still struggling to catch up, but thanks to Wendy, it’s a lot easier than what it used to.
DW has been a constant in my life for a couple of years now, as I moved to two different towns where the only people I knew were the people that interviewed me – not exactly the people I could go out for a drink with. Having a sense of stability helped me tremendously. Also, I was able to ask for advice a few times when I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. (Friends in the old town didn’t know what was going on, and I didn’t know the people in the new town well enough).
Reading some letters on here makes me go – oh, I’ve been in this exact situation, I dealt with it badly and in hindsight, this is what I wish I had done. Some letters are situations I’ve never been in, but thanks to the ‘training’ I got here, I’m sure I’m more equipped to recognize them if I happen to be in them in the future. Also, reading other people’s comments and seeing different perspectives on how problems should be dealt with is awesome. We all know a few people in our lives, and we don’t have a play-by-play of their lives, even though we interact with them frequently. Having access to this “collective knowledge” (I don’t know what else to call it) on relationships is, in my opinion, invaluable. And Wendy was the creative force behind it. She created it out of an idea, a dream. Wendy, your dream has come true (or at least, you’ve come a long way, if your dream is bigger than what you’ve accomplished in the past year). Congratulations, from all my heart. And thank you!
February 12, 2012 at 8:09 pm #12178Wendy, and this site, and this community have all taught me SO much about relationships!! Honestly, I always felt like I was fumbling around, never knowing what was “normal” or “right” or if I was being “crazy” or reading too much into things, and being afraid to assert myself because it would make me lose the guy. Basically, I was an insecure mess when it came to dating and dealing with boys. Now, I have a frame of reference for what real, healthy relationships should look like and how they should work. And I’ve seen that it is okay and necessary to have needs and to expect those to be honoured. And that sometimes, you just need to MOA.
February 12, 2012 at 8:55 pm #12182There needs to be a Dear Wendy Archive. I can not find something she wrote 2yrs ago.
February 13, 2012 at 10:17 am #12235I just have to say that I love this site and everything it stands for. Not only Wendy but the community itself has opened my eyes to different perspectives and opinions that are very different than my own. I love reading about all the differences in people and trying to help out when possible. 🙂
February 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm #12268I hardly ever comment on DW, but I check it pretty much every day! I love Dear Wendy because it’s good advice for someone like me – young, in school, grappling with the problems of young adulthood. DW also has a lot of different perspectives that are good for me to know, and I like that everyone contributes to this community. I haven’t written in for advice yet, but I kind of want to! I just wish I could meet more people like the ones in this community in person! Wendy, you are AWESOME and I hope you know that.
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