Update: “Concerned Husband” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Concerned Husband” whose wife was taking her anger out on him and their kids after being diagnosed with MS. “I have spoken to my wife about this and she says she is sorry and will try to relax and not yell at us,” he wrote, “but that only lasts a day or so. It’s like she’s angry at the world that she has MS, but the thing is she is only mean to us. She goes with friends and her sisters and treats all of them great and then comes home and is distant towards the kids and me. Honestly, she is pushing us away, and I find it more fun to do things when it’s just me with the kids.” His update below:

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I know it’s only been a few short months, but things have improved within our household. My wife and I had some real serious talks, and we made progress. We are talking more and being more open with our feelings and are starting to find a balance that helps us and our kids. Of course, there are still some bad days, but we are managing these better as well. I guess being still fairly new to this it has just taken us a while to figure out how to manage her disease. I appreciated most of the comments and advice from other readers. It all helped me take a step back and make some adjustments to better help myself and my wife. Thanks again for responding!

Thank you for the update. I’m so glad to hear things have improved and hope this is just the beginning of an upward trajectory for your wife and your family and you all learn how best to manage the MS and its effects on your wife as well as on the rest of you.

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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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One Comment

That’s great to hear. MS is a very challenging disease, so bad days are to be expected. I really recommend you seek out a support group for other spouses of those with MS. Having a safe space to talk and vent about your own experience as the healthy spouse will be a good thing, too.