Dear Wendy

Just got my kids vaccinated!! ??

Robert, your dating situation makes me think of a rescue and recovery mission following a disaster or a missing person claim. There’s a rescue search as long as there is hope of finding anyone alive. Once that hope has passed, the search shifts to a recovery mission: one where the goal of the searchers is to find remains so that the case can be closed, and the bereaved might get closure and begin to heal. I believe that we have long since passed any hope of rescue here. You have shown next to no willingness to learn from the years of advice and insight you’ve been given. Aside from buying some new clothes a couple years ago and taking some new profile pics and incorporating the profile I wrote for you – has it been three years now since that happened?? – you’ve shown zero willingness to adapt to a dating landscape that has changed since your last successful relationship (in the 90s, right?) and the normal expectations normal women have in partners and relationships.

Essentially, your motivation to find a fulfilling relationship is dead. I do not believe it is something you genuinely want or you’d show more interest in adapting. And it’s not surprising, really, that you don’t have a genuine interest in a genuine relationship. People are complicated and relationships can be messy. They demand some selflessness, flexibility, adaptability to be truly successful. These are not traits you’ve shown us you have in the years we’ve interacted with you. That’s not to say you are without good and admiral qualities. But the qualities that make a relationship work are not qualities you naturally have and not qualities you’ve shown any – I mean ANY – interest in fostering in yourself.

It’s time to shift to a recovery mode: for you to figure out how to make your life fulfilling without a partner. I suggest building friendships, investing in your business/ business skills, and finding ways to give back/invest in your community. Giving to others is a wonderful way to build the kind of legacy you might hope having children would give you. It’s a wonderful way to build a community and feel a sense of purpose.

And who knows, maybe if you take the focus off of finding a woman to spend your life with, she might actually find you when you least expect it. If that ever does happen, for god’s sake, show her some affection before the 3-month mark.

This thread had its 3000th post this week! I was re-reading some of the earlier posts, and Fyodor linked to this tweet, saying “I hope it doesn’t come to this.” If only it had been just a few weeks…

https://mobile.twitter.com/associatesmind/status/1238821102262116353

A good book for kids in the 7-10 range (or even an 11-year-old who seems curious but does NOT want to discuss sex with her parents) is ‘Sex is a Funny Word.” Very inclusive, positive book that touches on sexual and gender identity and the ways we are different from and similar to each other.

Also, yeah, very annoyed the cdc is taking a week after the FDA meets to discuss kid vaccines. Zero sense of urgency for the kids who have put much of their childhoods on hold for 19+ months now.

If the only issue you had with Hunter is the height, you could try their ankle-height option. I had knee-high hunters, too, and I never wore them. I sold them and bought some duck boots from LL Bean. Not trendy, but cute enough and they’re comfy and super functional and I guess at 45, that’s good enough for me.

Ok, was offline most of the weekend and catching up on the forums now and, wow! Lesbian twist and all!

Gracia/ Riyo: dump the loser, take a little break from dating, therapy, and then – sure, try dating women, if you feel yourself at all sexually attracted to them. Good luck!