Dear Wendy
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Like, let’s say this wasn’t a date who stood you up, but a new friend — maybe someone you met online (like say a local DW friend you’d emailed a couple times, had lunch with and then made plans to get together with again). Let’s say that DW friend stood you up and then you noticed her commenting on the site later. What would you do? If it were me, I’d say, “Hey, what happened? We had plans! You said you were going to text and then, nothing! Was there a misunderstanding?” And then if that person still ignored me, I’d tell her she was incredibly rude and that she wasted my time, and THEN I’d delete her number and write her off.
@shakeourtree, Did you call him out on this despicable behavior? Did you sent a message asking what happened to him? That’s what I would do before deleting his number. These assholes need to be called out on being assholes.
Kare, I;m assuming your friend knows how you feel about her shitty fiance? In which case, you can say, “You know how I feel about “Tom,” and you know I love you so I will support you always, and I will always be happy to do things with you and [her daughter], but I’m not interesting in spending my free time with Tom. Please know that that isn’t a reflection on my feelings for you at all. It’s only a reflection on my feelings for him. I think you can do a lot better. But he’s the guy you’ve chosen so I will accept that and be civil to him, but that doesn’t mean I have to embrace him as a friend, as someone to spend down time with.”
Ooh, good choice!
What dress did you decide on ktfran?
Ooh, that is a super pointy toe, isn’t it? I like all the straps though.
I vote for for vince so far. Here are a few others for your consideration:
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=518081371&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=486573259&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=516532839&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=511829248&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=519748592&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
Nude strappy!
Yeah, all of those, plus finances, of course.
My weekends aren’t usually so exhausting as this past one, but they do always revolve around caregiving as any parent’s usually does. To have a morning to myself to go to an exercise class and run errands in peace really is a morning of leisure these days (and I do get those mornings — Drew and I take turns taking time four ourselves — I just didn’t get it this weekend is all). I just wanted to give a little perspective. If you’re single and childfree and don’t have anyone else to worry about or schedule your weekend around — difficult parents, aside — try to appreciate the “me time” you get, even if it feels busy. I definitely try to enjoy the family time I have, even when it feels so exhausting. All these stages in life pass, after all…
Veritek, I think I’m jealous of your version of a busy! After hosting and cleaning up after 20 of my in-laws in my dead father-in-law’s apartment an hour away, cleaning up one kid’s car-sickness-induced vomit and another kid’s enormous diaper blow-out, rushing to take a friend out for a birthday dinner whose husband of 27 years has just left her, and then rushing from there to another friend’s birthday party and then collapsing in bed at midnight after being awake and mostly on my feet for 19 hours straight (and in high heels for about 15 of those hours), your weekend sounds downright leisurely.
@Veritek, that guy sounds bonkers, and to be honest, I thought he seemed a little bonkers on date one when he whipped out his phone and named a star after you or whatever. I mean, sure, that’s a cute gesture on, like, date four or five maybe, but on date one (and not even after the date, but during it? And not even during one of those marathon 12-hour dates like in that movie Before Sunrise where you feel like you’ve known each other forever, and even then, I think it would be sweeter if he bought it afterward and told you about it later as a surprise)? Kinda weird. I would have considered that a red flag. As would I consider the multiple date cancellations over the course of, what, three weeks? I think you had two dates? Really, at that point, not only is it ridiculous to expect anyone to be declaring relationship status on Facebook and turning off his or her dating profile, it seems a little premature to be buying each other gifts or making plans to spend holidays together, all of which I think you did (correct me if I’m wrong)? I hope it doesn’t sound like i’m picking on you here. I just know that you’d very much like to be in a relationship and seem frustrated by the dating patterns you find yourself in/ the kind of guys you seem to meet, so I want to point out how you might be ignoring early red flags and perhaps waving a couple yourself. In this case, you didn’t scare off anyone you might have potential with, but in the future, with a different guy — someone you very well could have potential with — coming on too strong (making plans to spend holidays together — with the exception of NYE — and birthdays together, buying gifts, etc., before, say, a third or fourth date) could scare him off. Don’t be afraid to go slow. Someone you’re meant to be with will appreciate that and will stick around!
