Dear Wendy
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Yeah, I mean, I don’t think calling someone out will necessarily change that person’s behavior going forward, but that’s not any of your concern anyway; what IS your concern is expressing outrage and shock that someone would take for granted how valuable your time and energy and company is! To me, saying absolutely nothing expresses zero shock and outrage. It’s almost as if you were expecting it (not that you were, of course). I mean, I’ve been stood up once — well, twice, by the same person — that I can remember and that was by a girlfriend about a year ago. She simply forgot that we had plans and she was very, very apologetic (and I was still pretty pissed about it, especially when it happened a second time a couple weeks later!). If some guy EVER stood me up, I’d be so fucking irate. Like, how dare you stand me up! Who the fuck do you think you are?! You were fucking lucky to get my time in the first place and then you behave like that? Fuck you. It’s about putting an energy into the universe that I know I am worth more than that.
Like, let’s say this wasn’t a date who stood you up, but a new friend — maybe someone you met online (like say a local DW friend you’d emailed a couple times, had lunch with and then made plans to get together with again). Let’s say that DW friend stood you up and then you noticed her commenting on the site later. What would you do? If it were me, I’d say, “Hey, what happened? We had plans! You said you were going to text and then, nothing! Was there a misunderstanding?” And then if that person still ignored me, I’d tell her she was incredibly rude and that she wasted my time, and THEN I’d delete her number and write her off.
@shakeourtree, Did you call him out on this despicable behavior? Did you sent a message asking what happened to him? That’s what I would do before deleting his number. These assholes need to be called out on being assholes.
Kare, I;m assuming your friend knows how you feel about her shitty fiance? In which case, you can say, “You know how I feel about “Tom,” and you know I love you so I will support you always, and I will always be happy to do things with you and [her daughter], but I’m not interesting in spending my free time with Tom. Please know that that isn’t a reflection on my feelings for you at all. It’s only a reflection on my feelings for him. I think you can do a lot better. But he’s the guy you’ve chosen so I will accept that and be civil to him, but that doesn’t mean I have to embrace him as a friend, as someone to spend down time with.”
Ooh, good choice!
What dress did you decide on ktfran?
Ooh, that is a super pointy toe, isn’t it? I like all the straps though.
I vote for for vince so far. Here are a few others for your consideration:
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=518081371&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=486573259&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=516532839&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=511829248&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=519748592&pid=uid7024-24991532-18
Nude strappy!
Yeah, all of those, plus finances, of course.
My weekends aren’t usually so exhausting as this past one, but they do always revolve around caregiving as any parent’s usually does. To have a morning to myself to go to an exercise class and run errands in peace really is a morning of leisure these days (and I do get those mornings — Drew and I take turns taking time four ourselves — I just didn’t get it this weekend is all). I just wanted to give a little perspective. If you’re single and childfree and don’t have anyone else to worry about or schedule your weekend around — difficult parents, aside — try to appreciate the “me time” you get, even if it feels busy. I definitely try to enjoy the family time I have, even when it feels so exhausting. All these stages in life pass, after all…
Veritek, I think I’m jealous of your version of a busy! After hosting and cleaning up after 20 of my in-laws in my dead father-in-law’s apartment an hour away, cleaning up one kid’s car-sickness-induced vomit and another kid’s enormous diaper blow-out, rushing to take a friend out for a birthday dinner whose husband of 27 years has just left her, and then rushing from there to another friend’s birthday party and then collapsing in bed at midnight after being awake and mostly on my feet for 19 hours straight (and in high heels for about 15 of those hours), your weekend sounds downright leisurely.
