Cleopatra Jones
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Not that I want to intentionally stir the pot but I gotta know…
What happened with the boss??? For real, I seriously want to know why he’s a POS.
Was he hitting on other servers at GC?, constantly cheating on his wife, just a regular ol’ T.H.O.T? just an all around dick?
Girl, what? Please tell us.
Miss Dre,
Have you tried swirlmingle dot com? It’s a new interracial dating site. There’s been a lot of discussion about it in my circle on FB. Whether it’s good, bad, or meh I can’t really tell you but it is geared toward people who want to specifically date inter racially.
Eh, I think a ball as a second date is a little much.
It’s a 2nd date in which you will be meeting his co-workers/friends, and being cast in the role of girlfriend/serious relationship. You honestly don’t even know if you like him like that. And this feels a little shady to me.It’s kinda like he’s trying to spin you into a fairy tale relationship to distract you from the real him.
Or maybe I’m just cynical?? Kinda feels like a red flag to me.
The NAACP was not actually started by black people. You might want to check your history facts.
And tone is so important. 🙂
You can’t tell from words alone what the situation was, but I am inclined to believe that most people know when a remark is meant to be friendly or in a less-than friendly manner.
Doesn’t her use of the term ‘colored people’ fall into this category? I’m not sure if Mim0sa realizes this but at one time in the U.S. using the term ‘colored people’ was in a fact a covert way of calling someone the N-word. Part of me feels like she knew/understood the intent of the term because honestly I haven’t heard anyone use that in at least 25 years. I kind of feel like she either says this in other conversations or it’s a term that’s frequently bandied about in her home. Either way, when you ask advice from strangers on the internet, you should be cognizant of your word choices.
That’s why I called out her use of the term and ‘OMG my white BF lives in a black neighborhood’ attitude. There were so many other ways she could have broached the topic that this discussion never even needed to devolve into a discussion of race or status. Honestly, her whole issue has NOTHING to do with racial makeup of the neighborhood, it has to do with her own anxiety and insecurities.
So if you need help dealing with your own shit then it’s all kinds of disrespectful to point to someone else’s race or socio-economic status as the origin of your angst. Start with saying, ‘Hey, I’ve been dealing with anxieties and my BF does this thing that amps up my anxiety level…’
Well the problem with assuming that poor people + minorities = bad areas is incorrect.
There are SO many bad areas in the U.S. where the majority of the population are not minorities. Take a look-see at rural areas around the U.S.-a lot of times those areas rival urban areas in their drug use/trafficking, violence, and poverty. The only difference is that urban areas tend to be right in our faces as we move through our cities while rural communities are often hidden away so it’s easier to associate the level of ‘badness’ with a skin color.
That’s what LW was being called out on. If she had said, ‘my boyfriend lives in an area that doesn’t feel safe to me because of the high crime rate…’ then she would have received a different tone from people. The fact that she made it a point to HIGHLIGHT that he lived in a black neighborhood was what was truly offensive.
At the end of the day, if her BF wants to live there then that’s his choice she can’t do anything about it. So move on from this topic.
Maybe the underlying issue is that LW thinks he will want her to move in this area if they decide to live together/get married.
Um, do you not see how that’s offensive? even in an exaggerated tone.
Couldn’t you have chosen black people? It would have probably went a long way to illustrating your point without being overtly offensive to ya know… some of the black people on this forum who are regular commenters.
Colored folks. Really??? Did we time warp back to 1965?
I can’t even…
Well, anytime you assume that because someone is poor and/or a minority that they are out to rob, rape, or harass you then you probably won’t be satisfied with any answer other than your BF moving out of there.
FTR, your BF could get robbed in an affluent area just as well as he could get robbed in a poorer area. The presence of minorities does not automatically mean he’s a target. It just means that minorities live, love, work, raise their kids, worry about bills/relationships/relatives in that area. Nothing more, nothing less.
TBH, if he’s a decent dude to the people in his neighborhood then they will probably look out for him or won’t bother him at all. He MIGHT just feel safe walking home alone because well…he knows that he is in fact safe in his neighborhood (I know, novel concept).
Yeah, I kept reading because I was waiting to ‘see’ examples of this kid being so disrespectful to justify her craziness. Honestly, that kid is the most sane and respectful one in this bunch.
And FTR, don’t send the longest letter evah in the history of DW and then keep adding in ‘make a long short’. This letter stopped being short after the 6th paragraph!
@CaptainsWife, I think I will. I have been eye-ing a sourdough starter set on King Arthur Flour for awhile so this would totally give me a reason to purchase it.
@TheGirlinME, can we talk about the deliciousness of a sourdough coffee cake? I’ve seen a recipe for one and have been seriously considering making it. I mean, I love sourdough as much as the next person but I’m not sure how sourdough and cinnamon would go together. #anythingcanhappen
I’m not sure if my palate is refined enough to balance the tangy tartness of sourdough against the sweet pungent taste of cinnamon. I just don’t know. 🙁
