hfantods
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
That sounds like a really nice time together, @lucia. I feel like you already know the answer. It depends on what you are looking for but it doesn’t seem too realistic for a relationship (again).
Thank you all so much for the sample script. I thought about it more and I did want to see him again. I have to admit it was partly because he didn’t text me for a day so I just texted him something related to our date (yeah, I guess there was pride involved, not too awesome to admit that), and we picked it up from there. We met up for a third date yesterday. I thought one more date wouldn’t waste anybody’s time.
We went to a street festival/music festival. For the first few minutes I was really regretting my choice, but after it just felt nice; really good conversation. I think I am starting to like him as a person, not just him on paper. He’s extremely nerdy, smart, driven, and kind. And not afraid to show affection? Also one of the bands played The Smiths’ “There is a Light that Never Goes Out” and while that is a morbid/depressing song and we’re both pretty happy people, I think we had a ~moment~.
Anyway, if he’s interested, I’d like to continue to date him and as long as we are on the same page on not committing early then it’s ok. That does sound a bit egotistical, I just mean the last guy I went out with brought up deleting online dating accounts on date 4 and it freaked me out. But I like spending time with him.
That’s my update 😉 And I am still going through the various sites/apps.
I went on a couple dates with the Tinder guy I asked out — Friday and today, mainly because we’re each going away so I wanted to see him again earlier. (Strangely enough, I bumped into him on the train on Saturday and we ended up chatting for half an hour). I have mostly decided if he asks for a third date I will have to tell him I’m not interested. I don’t want to ghost him because he’s a good guy. I just don’t know what to say — something like “I didn’t feel a spark” sounds fantastical. And I feel weird because we made out and I was physically into it so I gave him no signs on our dates that I wasn’t interested. And I feel shitty because honestly, our conversation was really good, but the making out wasn’t so it’s kind of a shallow reason.
I asked a guy out! …on Tinder. Baby steps. We’re planning drinks on Friday night after work. I’m a little nervous because we did what you are not supposed to and chat for almost two weeks, like paragraphs (which is certainly weird on Tinder) so I hope we will still have things to talk about. I really didn’t want talk so much but I was waiting for him to ask me but I bit the bullet.
Also, he’s clear he wants to move to Toronto where he works like early next year (we matched in the suburbs) and I plan on staying where I am right now, where I work. Also he mentioned (on the topic of Facebook and weddings) he’s not ready for marriage now as he wants to get settled financially, travel and a spend a lot of time with someone right, which objectively all makes sense, but like woah, too soon (when you’re chatting)?
I think these are just yellow lights, not red flags.
Anyway I hope this works out. I literally haven’t been on a date (or like even a meet up from online) since the end of last September.
MG, those photos are breathtaking, literally. congrats!
Dating has been really low key. I am “on the apps” but I swipe left more often than not. I’ve been talking to this guy for a week, which really feels like a month in terms of apps. He hasn’t asked me out, and I know I could ask him out, but I’m starting losing interest and I can’t tell if he’s cute or not.
Thanks gals, reassuring to know I’m not alone (albeit 6 years later). Lesson learned.
Just needed to put this out here because I was a little foolish and I don’t want to tell anybody IRL. I think it’s ok but I should have known better. A month ago I chatted with a guy on Bumble, and it was light/fun. He asked me to join him and his friends for drinks but it was too late for me so I declined/apologized the next morning, and then the conversation ended.
He messaged me yesterday asking what I was doing today. I was interested in trying something new (casual), so even though we hadn’t talked in a month, this afternoon I messaged back saying not much, wrapping up work. He said I should come out for a drink. I said sounded tempting and asked where.
Then he asked if he could add me on Facebook to see if I was really who I was. I said I don’t usually add strangers without meeting them first. Then he said maybe a full body selfie and offered to go first. Which sounded even weirder. And I should have just ignored it. But I got his name instead to look on Facebook and he seemed normal so I added him/he added back.
Then… silence. So I asked if he still wanted to get a drink and if not, let me know. He said “I’m good I think”. So well, I guess I wasn’t attractive enough/didn’t look enough like my photos–which I don’t think is the case, but sure, they are more flattering photos. I unfriended him soon after and unmatched him on Bumble. But, yeah, so the stupid part is now he knows my name which I was trying to avoid. I mean, he could do some Googling and find out where I work, but what else is he really going to do so I am hoping it’s ok.
TheLadyE, I’m sorry to hear that 🙁
I didn’t ask Toastmasters Guy out last Thursday, mainly because there were just too many people there. I do have his email and I could email him something about what he mentioned and then ask if he wanted to go out for coffee but I’m not sure. I’d love to get to know him better, but in the long scheme of things August is not that far away. Also, I can’t tell if I actually like him or if he’s both normal and cute and I’m just thirsty/hormonal.
Yay looks like people are going on dates and having fun!
Thanks @cleo! No hopefuls yet, but it’s still an avenue to try hard if it is something I want to do.
There is a cute new member at the Toastmasters club I go to. Most members are in their late 30s-50s but for some reason there’s a recent crop of people in their 20s. This Thursday is our last meeting before we break for the summer. I want to be bold and I don’t know.. ask if he wants to go out for drinks or something or perhaps I can organize a group drink with the younger crowd (less bold ;)) since we won’t be meeting. I don’t know if this guy has a girlfriend though and also he’s going to business school in another city in January. But that doesn’t really matter at this point (I mean girlfriend yes, but I have no idea except he hasn’t mentioned one before). Life is too short not to go for it.
I opened up my OKC account after deleting it for a while. It seems like the only guys who send me thoughtful messages are ones I am just not that attracted to, and I feel bad because I can tell they put time into their message but I just don’t want to reply. Hope something works out of this.
Oh glad to hear it. I wasn’t sure where exactly in Alberta you were going (I realize it’s a big place ;)). Still, such a difficult time there. I can’t even imagine it.
Just wondering, has anyone heard from cleo? I know she was moving to Alberta — Wood Buffalo? Not quite sure when? If you do see this I hope you are doing ok with the wildfires. My heart goes out to everyone in Fort McMurray.
Well we’re the same profession and it’s a small community so it’s not a matter of ethics or anything, just potential awkwardness of later run-ins. No, he doesn’t have my contact info, so I’d have to run in to him again, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be soon. My much older boss was at the event so I didn’t want him to see me writing my number out to this guy. Handing a card would’ve been ok to do — I was just in a rush to leave.
