juliecatharine
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Not really RB, he’d be termed a psycho..which is appropriate and also applies here. Awesome insight though. ?
Abby, it was definitely time for this relationship to end. Having *someone* is not the end all be all. It’s really important to be comfortable with your own company and being alone. When you feel confident and happy with your life you will find higher caliber people and have better relationships. Counseling can help you unpack some of this stuff because these feelings are about you.
Oof. I’ve been there and it’s a terrible way to feel. You’re going to be cringing over this for a good long time as it is so do not double down and make it worse. Delete his number, block on all social media, and start looking for a therapist so you can make an appointment tomorrow. Your reaction to being ignored is not about him. Frankly your relationship sounds like it was crappy if you were often annoyed and having petty fights that had him yelling so loudly you were afraid your neighbors would call the cops. None of that adds up to a healthy relationship that warrants such an extreme reaction. If I had to guess I would say your feelings are more likely being driven by a strong fear of abandonment. This is about you, talking to him isn’t going to fix it. Talk this out with a therapist and let him go. He threatened to call the cops, there is no coming back from that.
I’m with Ange. Generosity of spirit is subtle but so important for lasting happiness. I think if he had been horrified that you had to bring this up and deeply concerned about it you might have something worth working on. As it stands? Why bother? This is who he is and everything you’re writing tells me you know you can do better.
Red you are incredibly off base here. If you actually think your definition of assault is the code the rest of the world lives up to you shouldn’t leave your house. Like, ever. People have a hard enough time being believed when they ARE assaulted without watering down the definition the way you are. Seriously, have you never been to a club or college party?
So did I, not impressed.
What happened is 100% normal club behavior, it’s literally the reason most people go to a club—to drink, dance, and hook up.
@ Northern we have no idea how old this guy was. We know she’s super racist so I’m inclined to take her description of the guy with a really big grain of salt. There are studies that show black kids are perceived as being older than they are. It’s entirely possible there wasn’t a huge age difference. Even if there was, she is 19 and in college, she’s an adult.
A more elaborate opinion would give you more to grasp onto. I don’t think that would benefit you at all.
It doesn’t matter.
Calling this assault waters down the actual definition so much as to negate it completely and that does a lot more harm than an unfortunate makeout session in a club. This didn’t happen in a library it happened on a dance floor where people go to hook up. Don’t want to deal with that situation? Don’t go there or learn how to handle yourself.
Jesus dude if you really wanted to be with her you wouldn’t have sat around for three weeks with your thumb up your ass not calling her. Move on.
