Kate
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I wonder if they’re treating women that way because women put up with it. If no one did, I bet they’d change their tack.
Ok, I see. In your posts there seems to be a strong emphasis on a guy sharing your religious beliefs, but maybe that’s not really the case. I just wanted to make the point that it’s not necessary for a good relationship but it seems like you get that?
I don’t understand the religion thing. I am probably an even more minority religion (like way more minority, since you seem able to meet guys of your faith) AND it’s a central part of my beliefs, and I’ve had the best relationships with guys who believe in God but aren’t part of an organized religion. They respect and don’t judge my beliefs. I want to challenge what makes you so sure you can only have a relationship with a guy of your faith. These socially awkward Christian men who won’t kiss you aren’t working. How about a spiritual guy who’s not awkward or a nerd and wants to make out? They are not too hard to find. If a guy hasn’t tried to kiss you by date 3, he’s not attracted to you. If the dates are hours long, then I’d say by date 1 or 2. He’s not attracted, and a relationship won’t happen even if you build a friendship first.
I think if you don’t send at least that obligatory thank you text, guys are going to assume you’re not interested.
Oh, gotcha, ugh, I hate that situation. It’s not a great sign if you haven’t heard from him since your last date… When was that? If you don’t hear from him today you could reach out and be like, hey, we still on for Friday? Maybe he’s not a big planner, or maybe he was just kind of blowing smoke.
But, that said, I wouldn’t expect a lot of texting after a first date. If there’s not a second date set pretty quickly, what’s the point to keep communicating?
After the first date you should always text and say thanks and you had a great time, if you want to see them again. If that text doesn’t happen, I.e. You hear nothing, that’s a red flag. Texting anything that makes you uncomfortable is another red flag. Anything in between is probably normal?
I can’t remember why or where we were talking about guys who fool you with their love-bombing tactics, but I think it was this thread… It made me remember the LoveFraud website. Anyway, this quick article is worth a read. 3% of adult males have antisocial personality disorder (are sociopaths), and it’s good to understand that this kind of OVER-attentiveness is a red flag. 3% doesn’t sound like a lot, but these guys get AROUND, often dating/scamming multiple women at once. And there’s a whole bunch of guys out there scamming lonely women on online dating sites too.
http://www.lovefraud.com/2016/06/20/6-reasons-why-sociopaths-seem-so-romantic-but-theyre-all-fake/
I did that too. It can be a really dangerous trap for many reasons.
I would tell him to journal it, not send it to you, and leave you alone. You don’t want any part of a guy like this.
Whoo, that looks juicy. The important thing to remember is it id unfortunately not uncommon to find out you’ve totally been lied to. And when you do, unless you have to testify in court, the only thing to do is completely distance yourself from the liar / user. 100% no contact with him, his gf, wife, mom, friends, kids, all social media, etc. otherwise you let yourself remain his victim in some way and you’re not free.
