Kate

So, I do believe the right wing media and politicians are spreading lies *deliberately* about vaccines, and about Delta being bullshit (it’s not, I know a lot of people in India and was talking to them directly a few months ago when it was running wild there).

These people KNOW vaccines work. They are vaccinated themselves. At Fox News I think they have a vaccine passport system. So why are they spreading these lies to discourage people from taking the virus seriously, wearing masks, social distancing, getting vaccinated? Because they want a lot of people to actually die. Why? So Biden’s economy and agenda will fail. This is all political. Then you’ve got impressionable and/or dumb people perpetuating the lies on social media and eating their own shit.

Insisting on phone calls is high-maintenance /difficult. There is no need for that, and it’s not going to prevent you from finding out you have no physical attraction. It’s just another hoop to jump through and a scheduling issue. If there’s some rapport via messaging, and their pics look good, just meet for one drink. Insisting on dinner is high maintenance too, for a first meet.

I totally totally understand your frustrations, but I think it’s awesome that he DID suck it up and get vaxxed, and hope others do the same. I would just tell him you’re so glad he did, and why, and let it go.

Robert and Sandra both – It’s fine and good to take a break from dating and work on yourself. But if you’re actively dating and there’s a stage you’re consistently never getting past, whether that’s getting replies to your messages, getting to a first date, or getting a second date, that’s where the problem is and there’s something there to fix. If no one is replying, or no one is interested in a second date, it’s you, not them. Once you come back from your break, if you didn’t do the work to fix it, you’ll have the same issues. Robert, previously for you it was your profile. Wendy helped you fix it and now you’re past that hurdle. You’re getting responses, but you’re getting stuck at getting to the first date most of the time, and past the first date all the time. So now we know the problem is in how you communicate. You sort of listen, but don’t really, to our attempts to point out where your communication is off. But it is. I’m not trying to be an asshole, but it would be the wrong conclusion to decide, oh, it’s not me, it’s them.

But since I love banging my head against a wall:

You shouldn’t mention to a first date that you took the bus into the city. It puts you in a negative light right away. It makes you seem like you’d be a pain to date because you can’t quickly and conveniently get around. Also you’re cheap, or can’t really afford to date. And the way you just wrote it here sounds negative and angry. Instead of “I can’t stand,” and “where do I put it,” you could have written, “I don’t usually drive into the city because it’s hard to find parking,” or similar. If you use the same language you use here, jeez, ok, angry guy. But again, don’t even bring it up at first. If you keep seeing the person, sure, eventually you can discuss transportation, but no reason to give her a strike against you right away.

That woman offered you a ride because she felt bad for you. You didn’t need to have that even come up. If someone asks you how was traffic or did you find the restaurant ok, just answer without mentioning you took the bus!

The answer to “where do I put it once I’m there,” for many people, is “get there early enough to find a meter spot where you can pay a few bucks to park for the hour or two it takes to have a drink.” Or, “do some research / use an app to find discounted parking spots.”

Yes. Your weight loss coach is someone who wants you to keep paying her for weight loss coaching. She has every reason to just say, oh no Robert, it’s not you, it’s them, you’re great! And she told you you’re “intense.” That could mean a lot of things, all the way up to, “you’re a complete asshole” or “I’m actually kind of afraid of you.” From what I know of you, I think it means something like, you only see things your way, cannot see things from anyone else’s point of view, and will argue for literally years that you’re right, even when dozens of strangers with an interest in seeing you succeed tell you otherwise.

A whole bunch of women just told you mini golf isn’t a good first date idea, and you went off for paragraphs about why YOU don’t think thats true. A whole bunch of people spend years trying to make you understand why women may feel unsafe, and you dismiss the whole thing with “but there are cameras.” And, scene.