anonymousse
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
It’s amazing the mental gymnastics you’re doing to try to make this somehow your own fault. He’s disrespecting your feelings and wishes at the very minimum and it’s yourself that you are trying to blame.
That means he’s successfully gaslit you into thinking you’re crazy and wrong despite all evidence contrary.
Maybe the reason you’re so isolated from others is no coincidence either.
You’re wrong thinking the pain being without him is worse than this. It might feel that way at first, but then you’ll realize how he’s treated you like shit and cheated (previously you mentioned this wasn’t the first affair!) on you for years and you’ll realize how much better life is.
Counselor, therapist, psychologist, psychic- whatever person you think you’ll listen to, go talk to them and stop banging your head against this brick wall and make a change.
Please go see a therapist, Tina. You need professional help.
Also, please don’t compare your experience with that of a recent 29 year old woman writing in. Your experiences are nothing alike. You have had a problem connecting with men and women for years, decades, right? She’s had ten first dates that went nowhere.
I love how you argue with us about how people enjoy things and people but how you can only enjoy things you like, no matter who you’re with.
That’s a bullshit imaginary scenario you’ve imagined, not experienced while many of us here have said the opposing thing. Like Kate married an athlete of a sport she’s literally not interested in at all and they still have a fulfilling life. My husband plays the guitar and I hate hearing people practice the same songs over and over, but guess what- I still love him playing the guitar and our life together. He practices on a different floor so as not to annoy me. It’s not a big deal breaker. You are arguing with real people with real lives and relationships about what real relationships are like.
Stop writing in and see a therapist.
You’re seriously spending money on a weight loss coach right now, but not therapy!?!?
You’re wasting all the time you might have left meeting a person you could connect with focusing on superficial shit that is not going to address the deep, deep issues you have making and keeping relationships with other people.
And yeah, your weight loss coach telling you that you are intense-to me, means you are probably scary, Robert! She’s trying to keep you as a client and was being honest but that’s eye opening feedback. Intense…I think we all know is an understatement. Stop asking her for her opinion on why women won’t date you. I don’t think you realize how inappropriate even that is. Stop asking women what’s wrong with you and see a therapist.
And I agree, you totally act like you’re not interested if you’d prefer to take the public bus home than get a ride home from a pleasant date. Jeez! I’m surprised she offered you that ride in the first place, but you whiffed it.
No one wants to date an angry man who is so bitter at the world that he feels like a victim of the mechanic. Your demeanor and attitude are what put women off. But those are probably attributable to personal issues that we can’t help you with. A therapist can really help you figure out what is holding you back from connecting with other people. I remember you mentioning that as soon as your friends got coupled up, they stopped meeting up with you. You yourself said you haven’t had a relationship of substance with a woman in like 15-20 years. Something about the way you interact with people pushes them away. And you’re not aware of it, and since we don’t actually interact with you, we can’t know what that is. A therapist can help you find out why you feel disadvantaged and angry and can help you find the solutions to those problems and help you see things differently and maybe help you develop some coping skills for your anger.
I am sure I wrote a similar opinion twenty times on your last post and a few on this one. It’s been a long time since you first wrote in. Please go to therapy, Robert. You’re getting nowhere fast by doing nothing to address your issues. You’re in the exact same spot as you were before with some better clothes and dating profiles.
I think parents often say “I don’t want the kids to sleep in our bed, they annoy me.” That’s not hurtful or offensive. Some people need space to sleep.
I agree with Kate. The mechanic crap alone is exhausting! You do expect them to work on your car and hope they get paid …some magical time when you have balanced your budget? How would a shop stay in business if that was their policy and all or even half their customers didn’t pay their bills on time? They should just trust your word? You think they can have a policy like that and stay in business? And yeah, you say YOU are getting treated unfairly. It’s hilarious. And I agree that all that bitching and moaning about the damn mechanic makes it sounds that you, at 45+ have a car that’s constantly in the shop, can’t budget, don’t have any safety net for car repairs, and have no plan for life’s emergencies which happen all the time.
Stories like that are huge red flags for people, not just women. Because you are showing you feel entitled and angry when you don’t get special treatment.
How do you think you’d be able to afford a child? I have kids and while they haven’t broken my budget and drained my savings, they are EXPENSIVE. And the costs keep going up.
You don’t want to do the actual work YOU NEED to do to get the things you think you want. The women you date don’t owe you a reason they don’t want to date you. They could be all different reasons, because (shocking!) women are individuals! But I can tell you what it is- you are a difficult person. Your attitude about life, your entitlement and bitterness. And, as I recall you tend to interview potential mates instead of just having a normal conversation. And- I have to say that at 37 years old I play mini golf with my family because I have two kids under 8 and they enjoy it. Before that, I once went in high school on a date. I can’t really imagine many women my age or above would be that interested in going mini golfing.
Therapy, Robert. You make women uncomfortable and they don’t want to date you. This is the same thing we told you a year or more or whatever it was ago. You are letting the life you want slip by because you’d rather wait to see if the incredibly specific person you’ve dreamed up will fall into your lap as that’s easier than working on yourself. How likely is that to happen?
This man has been grooming and most likely abusing your daughter for ten years. You have been incredibly naive, manipulated and allowed this to go on for ten years. In that time, she has learned that she doesn’t control who sleeps in her bed. She has learned grown men prefer to sleep with little girls, instead of their wives. She has learned what he wants is more important than what she NEEDS. I truly question your abilities to recognize abuse. Has she ever said anything? Many victims are dismissed or not believed and they learn that – Mom won’t do anything to help me because she doesn’t care. She won’t listen to me.
I am hoping seeing the responses here, that you have sprung into action to help your daughter heal now.
This is absolutely not normal or okay behavior.
You need to keep her safe, above all else.
This is beyond creepy.
I missed this earlier but you mention you don’t even like dogs.
This is really easy- stop dog sitting. Their life problems are not your problem or responsibility and you really need to stop trying to “help” them. They don’t actually need your help.
Stop over complicating it and beating yourself up for pages for comments. If you don’t enjoy it and it’s not gratifying to you, just stop.
It’s not selfish of you to stop offering your labor, time, AND gas money free of charge.
