anonymousse
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I would say Salt Lake is more like Colorado snow. It’s desert, so a lot drier. The real snow is in the mountains. We had an Outback and I miss it.
Now I have a minivan, because of course I do. I just don’t go out when it’s bad. I should buy snow tires next year.
Congratulations!
I do regret what I wrote. There’s a time and a place and it is probably not the time and place.
My sister is eight years younger than me. When she was in Highschool I taught her how to take care of herself and her friends and how to drink safely, essentially. I’m very cautious with who watches my children. I’ve kind of made it my mission to help prevent these things happening to my nearest and dearest and I responded in that light, rather than this just happened and she’s still reeling from it. For that I do apologize.
I do think teaching safety and precautions and how to drink, etc is really important. I didn’t have it really when I was growing up (this was the era of DARE, which was basically abstinence only education) and I had a learning curve (+shitty friends, bfs, self destructive tendencies) for a long time.
Anyway, time and place. And I am sorry for my earlier comments.
I agree with the other comments. There is no question he took advantage of you and is a predator. It’s not your fault. You aren’t responsible for his behavior and can’t control what he choose to do. I’m so sorry this happened to you. He is not a friend.
Use this unfortunate event as a learning experience. Drink responsibly. It doesn’t matter who keeps buying drinks, you don’t have to keep drinking them. You should also make sure you eat a good meal before you go out drinking and drink plenty of water in between. Know your limit. I know it can be hard to stick to it in the moment, but try to maybe make a plan of how much you’ll drink, who you’ll be with and try not to deviate from it too much.
It’s nice you were thinking of his safety and allowed him to come to your parents house, but it was unnecessary. He could have called a cab or an Uber to take him home. In fact in reading this- you all took an Uber to your place.
I know this may come off as harsh, but unfortunately there are bad people out there who look for vulnerable people and opportunities like this. Drinking incapacitates you and leaves you vulnerable. You also can’t remember some of the night, which shows some blacking out. Please take steps next time to make sure you are safe, your friends are safe and that you truly stick together and watch out for each other.
Your boyfriend isn’t mad at you. He’s not considering this cheating. Try to stop feeling guilty or at fault at all. You did nothing wrong. Feel angry that this person did this to you. It might be worthwhile to speak to a counselor at your school, or even at home if you have the ability to.
Again, I’m sorry this happened to you. Take care of yourself.
Don’t be appalled at the random internet strangers having an opinion that you do not agree with. Everyone’s got an opinion and sometimes there will be ones that are different than yours. That’s a given.
Be appalled that your bf, who you assumed loved and cared for you-doesn’t actually. And move out. Break up. Because trying to smooth this over will lead to bigger and bigger disappointments down the line. He’s using a tactic right now to wear you down again.
I don’t know if there are other red flags, but this entire issue is a huge one and I don’t think you are going to come to an agreeable compromise because at the root of it, he doesn’t care about your wellbeing. You have an injury? Work nights or late shifts and he’s still dead set on this? It’s unbelievable to the point of maybe he’s trying to edge you out of more than the bed. He isn’t showing you love or care.
I don’t think she’s out of bounds for being disappointed in the way in which he went about this. She’s 19 for fucks sake.
You’re right, it is a choice. It is his choice, and this is what he’s chosen. His comfort is of utmost importance and hers is not. They can try therapy, but if you really have to pay someone to help convince your partner to care about your comfort… would you even want to work on that?
She should have brought it up before they moved in, (which she probably did, considering she’d leave in the middle of the night.) It’s silly and seems ridiculous to break up over something like this, but it’s also very illuminating. Maybe there are other problems going on. I personally really value my sleep and probably wouldn’t have continued dating him.
It was a problem before they moved in. She said she’d go back to her place on bad nights.
“i guess i honestly thought that eventually, he would decide that my well being more important enough to compromise with me and make the dog (both of them obviously) sleep on the floor.”
Well, it looks like he has decided the opposite. I don’t think this bodes well for your relationship. Try counseling.
I understand wanting to sleep in the same bed as your partner, but are separate beds off the table? He gets to cuddle with his human sized dog, and you get to sleep unbothered by cuddling and the dog. A lot of couples sleep in separate beds. It’s not necessarily a relationship killer.
When I was 19, I signed a lease with my bf and four others. Then we broke up. The same day, one of my other roommates wrote me a five page letter professing his love for me. That was an awkward year.
Wait, this happened weeks ago?
If that’s the case, I can understand why he maybe misinterpreted the concert post-breakup hang out. It happens. He’s 19.
When someone wants more and you don’t, it doesn’t have to be a super dramatic thing or a betrayal necessarily.
Sometimes feelings do naturally just develop.
