anonymousse

He should have just said something from the start to clear this up? That he thinks YOU are bad with money? LOL. And you didn’t press that more?

The many neon red flags are waving.

Yeah, exactly how is he a caretaker or staying to help them out if he won’t clean, do others laundry or cook?

If someone is being confusing, it is likely that they want to confuse you. He’s nearly thirty, he’s not an idiot even if he sometimes pretends to be.

I also think his answers still not making sense and his convenient habit of being “spacey” should have you pump the brakes on more than just moving in. I play dumb when I need to, but not to my loved ones. He treats you like you’re a kid who can’t budget (when you have 3 months rent saved!)and you actually have signs that he is that kid who can’t budget, at 28 or whatever. I will tell you a lot of people project what they do/are ashamed of onto others.

Bottom line is, if he can’t talk to you about money without being weird and uncomfortable, he is not ready to move in with you, period.

And I know you “enjoy cooking” and he can’t cook, well does that means without his mommy or a gf he’ll starve? He is purposefully setting himself up to be little baby for life instead of a self sufficient adult man. You do not want to play house with a guy who wants you to do all the cooking and cleaning from the get go and doesn’t trust you with money. He honestly sounds like quite the sexist, and not even hidden.

I agree this is really, really strange. Like, as a tenant it makes no sense at all to pay upfront unless you’re getting some sweet deal, but then you’d have to question why they need an incentive like that to compel someone to want to rent from them. Meaning, no. It makes no sense. For all the reasons described above.

And even if he did have issues from a past relationship with money, that’s no reason to take his issues out on you.

How long have you been dating? Just curious.

But it honestly does not make sense to move into a six month lease together-under only his name, to then move back home “for a few months to find a more permanent space.” Why don’t you just keep dating until you’re both mature enough to know for sure you want to live together? Like, start with the more permanent lease. Or do the six months and in that six months, find a better place. It is stressful, time consuming and expensive to move, depending on what you’re moving. I just can’t wrap my head around this logic.

If you can afford to pay him three months rent, could you afford to live alone, or with a roommate? That is honestly a better idea.

He sounds strange.

Good to hear things are better, Ktfran.

Hfantods, I discussed shingles because I had it twice last year at 37. And mono twice, or for a really long time. I’m so used to exhaustion and pain when I feel good I’m like Elton John and Richard Simmons combined into the body of a tiny woman, bouncing around and dancing all day.

The good news is I’ve been scheduling and getting vaccines through and I just finished my second dose of Shringrix. I got my second or third Covid booster and a pneumonia vaccine last week. We (my doctors, pharmacists and I) are just considering me immunocompromised at this point. I have a colonoscopy scheduled in two months. Not looking forward to that at all, but I’m hopeful they will find a reason I can’t digest food properly and tell me what is going on with my body.

I have the ilia lip and cheek stick in a brick red and it looks so good. I put a tiny smidge on my eyes, too. I don’t wear too much makeup but that and a little brow and mascara and I’m pretty good.