Moneypenny
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Ooh, congrats @copa and @hfantods!
I’m jumping in because I’ve been having this conversation with my boyfriend as well over the last few months too. (For background, we’ve been together almost 3 years at this point.) We do not live together, but I basically spend 6-7 nights a week at his house. He owns his house, about 20 minutes drive from my place. It’s a total fixer upper (was his grandmother’s house), and he is in the process of renovating with guidance from me. I don’t want to move in with him until the renovations are further along, I’m fine with the situation, and he is ok with it too. I still like having my own space (even if I’m hardly there) and he considers the house and the reno “ours.” It makes sense for me to move in to his house, as it’s a 4br house vs my renting a room with a roommate. And he does not want me to contribute to the mortgage or pay him “rent” and would rather I save my money to invest, possibly in a second house that would remain in my name, and in the meantime I would pay for most of the day to day expenses. In the event that we get married we would have a prenup where the house would stay his and in his name. He would rather I pay off my debt and save for something of my own, and in the event that we split up we would have our own places.
Fact is, we live in a really expensive COL area (SF), the house has been his/his family’s, and I frankly wouldn’t want to make him sell it to give me half. Its so hard to even find a place to buy, let alone afford, I just don’t want to do that. Frankly I’m not even in a huge rush to get married. First things first- finish the house, haha.
I’m sorry, Cleopatra! I will also agree with the others that it’s probably not the best idea.
I could see this breakup being the kick in the pants that he needs to make some real changes in his life. But I think you need to have some distance and time before possibly getting back together.
Holy… this girl (I say girl because she’s acting like a child) is a piece of work. I’m glad his parents are supportive. I would totally want to be a fly on the wall if BGM is there!! I can imagine how you’d both be stunned. I’m glad his parents are still supportive though. I have no advice that hasn’t already been said, but just know I think she’s being an immature brat, and you should totally just go to Santorini and show up pregnant to her wedding. <3
Last year I was a bridesmaid for a friend, and I hosted a surprise shower for her and a handful of her friends. We requested no gifts, and instead be bought a customized recipe box from Etsy and asked everyone to bring a recipe to add to the box. Everyone also brought a small gift (not from the registry), but they were more like stuff from Lush, not pots and pans. It went well and everyone had a nice time.
I usually will purchase a gift from someone’s registry, just because I know it’s something they want. I’ve gone to weddings where they only had a Honeyfund, so I contributed to that. I just stick within my price point and I’ve never heard anyone else complain!
I’m in, Ktfran!
This has been an interesting topic to be following! (Insert Michael Jackson popcorn gif.) I’m SO glad you and SIL talked it out and that things are working out!!! Whew!!
Add me as one who would love to attend a brunch wedding followed by wine tasting. That sounds so fun!
Also, I went to a Russian Orthodox wedding which was like, 1.5 hours long and we stood almost the entire time. I wished I had known, I would have worn more comfortable shoes…
Congratulations @Hizzy! And that’s a beautiful photo! 🙂
That is SO creepy, Ale! Please change your flight, if anything for the peace of mind.
That cake is beautiful! Wow!
@Hizzy, your shower sounds like it was so stressful. It’s supposed to be a celebration, why can’t people just behave for a few hours??
I’ve been to a number of showers (both wedding and baby) for a few friends and all of my cousins. And I’ve thrown showers for my sister and my friend who got married last summer (I was a bridesmaid for both). All were chill. All were drama free. One thing I hate though- games. I hate them. I refuse to play.
The shower I helped throw last summer was actually a surprise for the bride and we just called it a celebration lunch. We had it at my apartment (since I have a backyard) and I co-hosted with another bridesmaid. We said no gifts (although people brought small ones) and it was maybe 10 people. Everyone brought a recipe to add to a personalized recipe box we bought off Etsy. Everything went off without a hitch and the bride was really surprised and touched.
Personally, all of my stuff is hand-me-down from my sister or my mom, or I bought it over 10 years ago at Kmart, so I would love to upgrade someday. I don’t need anything crazy, but some nice pots and pans with actual lids that fit and some knives that actually cut, and some decent matching dishes and silverware that don’t rust would be nice. 😛
I would love to come visit Chicago! I went in 2013 for a conference, which was really fun. I managed to be there during Architecture Week so I was able to take some tours of some really cool buildings. And it was cold. (In October it was more like December/January weather where I live.)
Regarding staying over, I am happy to spend my evenings with him. I just wish I had a day so that I could go clean out my closet in my apartment like I’ve been wanting to, ha. I also have two drawers and almost an entire closet at his place, but I have a lot of clothes so… And I have a ballet bag (all of my dance stuff for multiple classes), workout bag (workout clothes/shoes), and the overnight bag. My car’s trunk can get a little packed!
As an aside, I’m going to be in a performance of Carnival of the Animals. I’m a kangaroo and a bird, and I have to make a bird costume. I’m kind of excited, I decided I’m going to model my costume after a macaw.
Hey guys! I’m loving everyone’s updates! Yay! Also all of this talk of Chicago makes me want to visit!
My bf and my first date was the day after Christmas. So that makes it easy to remember! Actually, we first matched and started messaging on Tinder on Christmas Eve (2016), and we chatted again on Christmas night and made plans to have coffee the next day. The date was coffee at a cafe in my neighborhood, followed by a pot of tea at a tea shop down the street, then Thai food for dinner. Followed by Netflix and chilling. Hah. I do remember he was late and I was not optimistic about any of it until probably the third date.Question for the group: Before you lived together (or if you don’t live together), how many nights a week did/do you spend with your SO? For myself, I’m over at his house 6 nights a week. I take one night off at my place to, you know, swap out my clothes and make sure my roommate still knows what I look like. It kind of became this way because I was having dance rehearsals until 10pm 3x a week and rehearsals on weekends, so it was my way of trying to spend as much time as possible outside of that. I’m ok with it for now, but I’m getting a little tired of schlepping bags.
