SpaceySteph
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Also maybe time to exercise more parental control over what she watches on you tube if she’s getting brainwashed about branding and spotting fakes at age 4.
There’s a teaching moment here for the kid about how its the thought that counts and that sometimes you don’t get exactly what you ask for but should be grateful for what you do have. And maybe also a teaching moment about respecting the gift-givers feelings by not calling out the gift.
Not surprising that the kid hasn’t learned that, since clearly the parent missed that lesson as well.
And yeah as others have stated, there can’t be that much difference between cheap plastic crap and cheaper plastic crap. Its gonna end up forgotten in a landfill when the next new hot toy comes out, anyways.
Ok wc, whatever you say. If you honestly believe that seeing the tests and knowing how close they are to the real one doesn’t change her study habits then you are as dumb as the OP.
My moral compass is this: if I would be afraid to tell someone in a position of authority that I did X thing, then it is not morally right, even if it is technically legal and/or socially acceptable. OP you are obviously (and for good reason) afraid to tell someone in a position of authority about this, so you must know that it is not morally right even if is technically allowed. You can take the high road and stop cheating any time. Sooner or later, the things you are not learning from this class will catch up with you… next year, college, your first job, whatever.
(Also if you think this class is dumb and you’ll never use it, well maybe you’re right. But learning how to be a good, honest person is definitely a life skill that will come back again and again. Not everything you are supposed to learn comes from a textbook..)
Yup its definitely about character. The first time was innocent but after that it was cheating. You should have a) told the teacher and b) stopped looking at your brother’s tests.
It also doesn’t matter that a third of the class has access to similar material and is using it. It’s about you and your character. The way you get your friend to stop calling you a cheater is to stop cheating.Also, how dumb are you if you made a pact with your friend not to tell anyone it was the same test and then…told people anyway? You put yourself in this situation twice, first when you cheated and second when you told.
Idk that I would tell the school, because they can be weird about cheating with zero tolerance overeaction. It would have been a no-brainer to tell after the first time, but now that you’ve kept doing it it could be bad. So just… stop doing it.
Yeah I agree the bf moving would likely be a bad decision. At that age he might own a home, have many years of service in a career and it would make the OP seem like a petulant child if she demanded he moved to her to prove his love or some romcom BS.
He might have some biological clock ticking and is rushing it but it seems pretty early to make that kind of commitment. I think if you want to continue this relationship, you should make some commitments but not just abandon your job and home to move. (But also if its been rocky already, why not look elsewhere, like in your own city and age bracket?)
Can you commit to spending more days in a row together (at home or on a trip) so you can see how compatible you are when its not a quick tryst? Or spend some more weekends in his city so you can learn the city, make friends, scope it out. Since its only 2 hours away, you have an awesome opportunity to ease your way into the city vs jumping straight in? And if that all goes well, maybe in a few months if you think you might like to continue the relationship you start job hunting and see if you can find something you like in the area, a job you’d like even if you weren’t moving for a guy.
For the record, trafficking happens into the US as well, I wasn’t excluding us– in fact I’d put us as one of those countries where poor foreign women are likely to be disbelieved and let down by the system.
Anyways, its hard to tell what is going on. He could be a regular male chauvanist. He could have brought a woman from another country specifically to hold the power. If it doesn’t apply she can move on, but this feels like that season of 90 day fiance with the old white dude and the 20 year old filipino girl… I wanted to shake her and be like “no, go home, save yourself!”
Idk what country you’re in or what country you’re from, but I would tread very lightly here. It sounds a little human trafficky– did he bring you to his country to make you his household servant knowing that you wouldn’t be able to work outside the home due to visa issues? Is it like some Muslim countries where women can’t do much of anything without a man and therefore you would have trouble escaping? Is it a country where foreign women are denigrated and would not be believed?
But yeah, if you can’t talk to him about this because he’s dismissive of you and assumes his working means he can treat you like a servant, then you have no business moving to another country to be his kept woman.
Its interesting the differences in advice between this post and the one where the girl’s bf dumped her because she put on weight.
Over there, folks are telling her to love herself, that people gain weight over time, that attraction is about more than appearance.
Over here, far too many people saying that the husband doesn’t take care of himself and if he doesn’t lose weight for her then he’s not taking care of himself. What’s up with that?OP you can’t make yourself be attracted to your husband but I want to echo what I said on the other thread– people get less attractive as they age. Its harder to keep weight off. If you are in it for the long haul you need to look beyond that. If you can’t, then set him free to find someone who will love who he is not what they wish he was.
Also, as a final PSA… we cannot judge the health of someone by knowing their weight. Plenty of skinny people have unhealthy habits; and plenty of fat people are active and healthy.
I understand that you sacrificed for your son. But at the same time, you need to understand that you cannot control him and force him to be what you want him to be because you didn’t get your hair done for 19 years. His life is still his to live. You seem to take your son’s success as the only possible indicator of your worth as a mother. But that’s not true. Many kids will never be neurosurgeons no matter how wonderful a childhood they had. And many kids who had terrible childhoods achieve great things.
Don’t let your frustration and disappointment irreparably damage your relationship with him. Follow that age-old mom advice “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” and give yourself cooling off time until you can let your expectations go. Your son may never be a neurosurgeon, and maybe “all” he’ll ever be is a waiter. If he is happy and gainfully employed and able to support himself (maybe not glamorously in a giant house with pool and car collection, but pays the bills and keeps a roof over his head) then that’s still pretty good.
And as for your friend’s apparently more successful kids… this is assuming facts not in evidence. Plenty of people got straight A’s, graduated with honors, and still couldn’t find good jobs. Plenty of people took on tens of thousands of dollars in student debt, and struggle to make ends meet on their waiter (yes, waiter) salaries. A college degree with a high GPA is no longer a good indicator of who will be successful.
And ok, fine. Probably some of your friends’ kids will be more successful than your son. So be it. Its not a competition.
I didn’t know there were women in the Incel movement!
I think the thing that changed for me is understanding the importance of a village. Young, single, healthy people with no responsibilities get by without needing a village, but I really started to see it when my SIL and BIL had twins at 28 weeks and had people helping them as they spent hours upon hours at the NICU and then brought home tiny and still slightly sickly babies after that. People would sign up for time slots just to come hold the babies so my SIL could take a shower or have a nap.
But its not only people with kids who need a village. People whose houses flooded during Hurricane Harvey needed their village to show up at their soggy houses to strip drywall and help them go through their destroyed belongings.
People who have had health issues or need major surgery needed their village to bring them food and help them around the house.
Any one of us could need that village at any point. OP maybe hasn’t needed her village yet. But she could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and don’t you think her sister would bring her food or her mom would help her out of bed in the middle of the night to get to the bathroom if she couldn’t do it on her own? I bet she would. You earn a village, in part, by being the village for others. Be the village.You’re right, when will OP ever rest. Saturday night perhaps?
