Columns

I have gone through a very traumatic six weeks. I am a 33-year-old woman who has been married for 14 years, and I have a 5-year-old son. My husband, “Fred” (34 years old), and I were monogamous for the first year or so of our relationship and explored the swinging lifestyle before we got married. We have, over the years, organically moved into our current style of open marriage, which has included both of us pursuing long-term relationships outside of the marriage. I had a 6-month relationship with a guy from my past and it was lots of fun and full of silliness. However, things weren’t as good for him as they…

I come from a rather large family and am blessed to be extremely close with my siblings. They are all bright, but, of course, some are more “book smart” than others, and my sister, “Nancy,” was the least book smart so it was a great surprise that she was able to get into her dream college. Nancy moved hours away and was doing well at school. But then she met a guy who was less than desirable, to put it nicely. Basically, he was a mooch with no real goals, but was a nice, somewhat friendly guy. They were a couple for about two years, during which time we all voiced our…

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I am to be married in July next year to the best man in the world. However, my mom and dad — who are paying almost all of the wedding — are very bitterly divorced. I have not had my mother in my life since I was 15 and it was not until a few years ago that I made up with her and built some boundaries so I could forgive her for leaving me. She is a slight wine-acholic — always been one — and…

Miss Manners recently answered a wedding-related letter I thought DW readers would have a field day with. Here’s the question: Recently our friend, who is 55 and marrying this spring (her third marriage), has told her friends that she intends to host a potluck wedding. She is inviting 100 people to an estate property lent to them for the weekend. She and her husband-to-be will ask guests to bring an assigned dish. They are both employed, own two homes (they intend to consolidate into a single household) and are planning a post-wedding vacation. Many of her friends (myself included) are somewhat distressed that she made this decision, indicating that she did not…

I am 25 and getting married in three months to a perfectly amazing and wonderful man. He’s sweet, smart, thoughtful, and handsome, and we make an amazing team. We share goals and values. The only thing that doesn’t remotely match up is our sex drive (mine is abnormally high, and his is very, very, very low). Since I met him a little over three years ago, I haven’t been able to imagine my future without him. I can’t communicate enough how much I am in love with this man, and how excited I am to be marrying him. When we first got together, we had an open relationship. He wasn’t particularly interested…

I have been dating “Alan” for a little more than a week now. From day one, I told him that I was not interested in a serious relationship as four months ago, I had my heart broken by a man I thought I was going to marry and have a child with. Alan stated that he, too, was not looking for anything serious. Well, over the next few days, we saw each other daily. Alan never really asked me much about myself and talked about himself quite excessively. In fact, any time I tried to share something about myself, he would talk over me, which is why he took me by total…

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I wrote to you previously about my girlfriend and me, who began living together after a few months of dating. She had discovered raunchy text messages I sent to a female friend. We had a long discussion about everything and acknowledged that yes, we did move in too soon, and a lot of our relationship insecurities stem from, I guess, our concerns about the relationship moving too fast. Honestly, I never really appreciated how effective an open line of communication is to remedy a problematic relationship…

I have been dating this great guy for a few months and everything seems good so far. I really like him and enjoy our time together but some stuff has happened in the last few weeks and it’s freaking me out. Last weekend when I slept over at his place we had sex and then at some point I fell asleep after we had finished. Well, I woke up a while later because he was having sex with me. I freaked out and told him to get away from me. He told me he was really sorry and he thought I had been awake. The next morning he brought it up and…