“I Live with My Girlfriend and Her Kids, But They Still Think I’m Just Her ‘Best Friend'”

I’m a 29-year-old lesbian who has been out for 12 years, dating my 43-year-girlfriend a little over a year, and living with her for seven months. She has three boys (20,12,6) and only the eldest knows we’re a couple. (Even then, it took her about three months after I moved in to tell him.) I’m the first woman she has seriously dated and she refuses to tell her youngest two that we are together, although they see me sleeping in the same bed with her and hear me calling her “babe.” It’s starting to take an emotional toll on me. She has sought the advice of older cousins (also lesbian) and taken…

“He Is Obsessed With His Ex-Girlfriend’s Daughter”

I’m dating someone, “Ryan,” who was in a relationship for seven months with someone I knew. She had a son and a daughter. He pursued me after they had broken up which, from my understanding, was her idea. Since then, she found out he was talking to me and immediately got hateful. She and I were never buddy-buddy; she only watched my son for a little while, but she says I’ve betrayed her. Well, Ryan said he understands her reasoning, which doesn’t make sense to me. Also, apparently while they dated for seven months, Ryan grew attached to her daughter, “Allison.” Allison apparently wanted him in her life and calls him her…

“Is It Wise To Leave My Husband Doing this Uncertain Time?”

My husband, “Joe,” and I have 2-1/2-year-old. Joe has changed her diaper twice – both times in the hospital. He has never bathed her or prepared her a meal, and he has only put her to bed a handful of times, after I’ve asked. He also does not do housework at all unless I get upset. This is not the main problem though. We run a pub; it is leased in both our names. Obviously, with the pandemic, we have been told to close. Before this, we were on the back foot financially and have racked up a bit of debt. I worry because we borrowed from my sister and brother whom…

“The Guy I’m Seeing Still Has a Drawer Full of His Ex-Wife’s Underwear”

I’m 48 and dating after leaving my marriage in September 2018. After a year-plus of one-night stands and hookups and situationships, in January of this year, I finally met a guy, “Carl,” 51, whom I really like. He shows up. He’s attentive and kind. We have a lot in common and I very much enjoy the time we spend together. He’s pursued me and just this weekend told me that he loves me. He wants to date exclusively and I’m on the fence. I can’t decide if my fear is of intimacy (working on this in therapy), fear of missing out (on dating other guys), or red flags. My question is about…

Update: “Needs Space” Responds

Hi, DW community. We are starting this week in what feels like a whole new world. Here in NYC, schools are closed for at least the next five weeks (and possibly through the end of the school year) with online classes set to begin next week. Bars and restaurants are closing for everything but take-out and delivery, and everyone is encouraged to stay home and put all in-person social interactions on hold for the forseeable future. (These /measures are painful – especially for those whose income and businesses will be so dramatically affected and for the many children who depend on school for a myriad of social services- but I agree that…

Update: “Assessing The Risk” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Assessing The Risk” who was unsure whether or not to respect her husband’s wishes that she not take her 6-year-old child on vacation to Florida amid the coronavirus outbreak. Her update below.

“My Boyfriend of Seven Years Thinks He’s Gay”

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, “Jason,” for nearly seven years. I am a single mother, and we started dating when my son was one. We live together and I would classify us as a family unit despite our not being married. I own the house we live in so we are not constricted by a lease, but if he were to move out, my bills would double and I would also have no support system in regards to back up with my son if I am at work or want to go out or have any kind of life. Over the years we have had a wild sexual…

“My Boyfriend Won’t Help Pay For My Birth Control”

I have been with my partner for nearly nine years. We have travelled together and have lived abroad. When we met, he was unemployed and living at home and I was working full-time, which was fine as he was on benefits and living rent-free. When we arrived at our new country, I was employed within two weeks and working 75-hour weeks paying rent and giving him money to drink with his new friends as he kept saying he was out of money, but whenever I didn’t have any to give, all of a sudden he’d have his own. Within a month and a half, he landed a very well-paying job, and since…

“My Husband Wants Me to Cancel My Trip Because of the Coronavirus, But I Don’t Want To”

I have a vacation to Florida planned with my 6-year-old coming up that would involve a short, direct, round-trip flight. I think it’s probably ok to go, with precautions, but my spouse would rather we postpone (he isn’t going). We have elderly relatives in our house, so there is an issue if this results in COVID-19/coronavirus exposure. My kid is REALLY looking forward to the trip, and if we don’t go now, the trip will have to be next year (it seems like the projections are the virus is spreading, so it’s going to take a while to renormalize). My husband and I have very different comfort levels with travel in general…

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