I recently met a man on tinder about a month ago and things started to move super fast. He asked me to date, introduced me to his family, talked about our future. Everything you can think of. I expressed early on that I was extremely nervous about texting him too much or being too clingy because he is not a great texter. Every time, he would tell me I never needed to worry about that and he would always accept me for all of me. He told me that he enjoyed being my confidant and that it made him feel good that I could tell him so much. He did everything in his power to do things for me. It was so temporary though, but I didn’t expect it to be permanent. Just thought it would last longer than a couple weeks.

As the weeks went by, I wouldn’t get any sort of sign of life from him until maybe 2 in the afternoon (I didn’t memorize the times but I think it was around then usually). He usually would sleep in late, but would wake up early to shower before classes or to do something like take out his dog or run to the body shop before going back to sleep. I told him shooting me a goodmorning text during that time would make worlds of a difference- like he did when we first met. If I had sent him stuff the night before that he didn’t have time to respond to, I told him he could just say goodmorning and respond later when he wasn’t busy. I also told him since we were still in the honeymoon stage that I would like to see him twice a week as opposed to one- since I felt like we were still getting to know each other. And that as long as we have one good, small conversation during the day that I wouldn’t care if he didn’t text me all day long after that. He would always say it wasn’t too much to ask and that he promised he would do so, but it never happened.

What started to become a problem is the fact that I would text him about certain things he said or did that hurt my feelings, that I was worried about, etc. I would send long paragraphs, but very kindhearted and never aggressive- just telling him my true and honest thoughts. I would ask him if it was too much to send paragraphs, he always said no. But he still managed to not respond to anything that regarded me talking about anything serious. I get text messaging sucks, but when I didn’t see him and he didn’t pick up the phone it was the only way I could express my thoughts to him without insisting on seeing him/speaking to him. I started to get the vibe that I was way more invested in this than he was. And that I had been tricked by his love bombing and being told he enjoyed girls who expressed all of their feelings. He also told me he loved me. That was the catch.

The last weekend I saw him in person, I told him I was gonna back off on texting him all of my feelings because he didn’t seem to be taking well to it with his responses every 14 hours. He was upset and told me he’d prefer I told him everything. He also promised ONCE AGAIN that I would receive a good morning and that he was going to be there for me more when I expressed my feelings. We had an amazing night, he was so sad he had made me sad and was telling me he was still falling for me. By the next day, he came back over and was acting extremely distant. He wouldn’t tell me why and insisted it wasn’t me over and over again. We still had a good time, and I sent him a very sweet goodnight text afterwards and when he hadn’t answered by late afternoon the next day, I apologized for the possibility of overwhelming him. He thought my apology was due to the fact that he didn’t respond in a timely manner, and this made him upset. I expressed that I was genuinely just apologizing for feeling I overwhelmed him. He once again insisted that I didn’t overwhelm him, and expressed he didn’t feel he was enough for me. I reiterated that when I met him, he proved he was enough for me and that he just maintain my three simple asks (which he always used to do);

– a good morning text, a response if he couldn’t respond to my longer messages just saying he was busy and would read it later, and to see him more than once a week.

I never heard from him again. I had to break up with him over text even after telling him consistently he was enough. Everyone I have spoken to says I was not overly clingy, and that he probably just can’t give me what I need so it’s good that it’s over. But I can’t help but shake that I asked for too much. It’s eating me alive.