Am I Too Clingy
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A good morning text isn’t a lot to ask for, but it’s the fact that you had to ask for it, more than once.
when he doesn’t speak to you all week long, a conversation a day (or even just a good morning text) isn’t much to ask before deciding to dump someone. btw, this guy is usually home all day.
Thank you. You seem to know what you are talking about. A lot of these people in the comments don’t seem to see the issue. Most of the replies not geared towards you.
But i would like to say to FYI, ron, and fyodor, and brise that I was not micromanaging. Asking to hear from my boyfriend once a day? I don’t know why I came to this advice column because these answers for the most part weren’t helpful. I was getting almost nothing and being told something different every time. I felt I did what i had to do BEFORE ending it. i even said if he couldn’t scrape the surface of what I needed that it wouldn’t work. And I was being told i wasn’t too much over and over again and that he enjoyed doing these things. My only fault in this was being naive in believing his words and believing that he did want to do these things. Not only that, I have way more friends than him, I’m extremely talented and have a butt load of passions (i’m a singer and actress and dancer about to graduate). All he does is sit at home and maybe has a class online. Maybe i should’ve included that beforehand. I workout, I live alone and take care of myself and I’m extremely young. and I still manage to speak to him. Some of you made good points along the way, but for the most part these answers didn’t apply too much to me. And were much more rude than expected.
and btw, i get i wrote them out like he needed to “maintain my asks” but that is NOT how i said it to him. at all. i would just ask if he was okay with doing something like that in conversation. he ALWAYS said yes. ALWAYS said it wasn’t too much. he’s probably a sociopath. these were never laid out like “rules and regulations.” he ASKED me to send all my feelings. i don’t know why i came on here. big mistake.
I think you text too much, and I think you know that. I think you were asking for a lot and way too fast, which does make you seem clingy. In a long term relationship, asking for a good morning text isn’t a big deal. But a guy you’d seen how many times before that? Way too early for that. No guy wants to get paragraphs of your feelings via text. If someone barely responds to you, you need to text less to them, not more.
No one wants to be told how to be to you. It’s like you didn’t even date, you went from meeting to a relationship with expectations. And you’re getting all hung up on him not being honest with you. A lot of people say the easiest thing they can to get out of awkward or stressful situation. That’s what he was doing. He was saying it’s fine, but meanwhile not replying for 14 hours. So that should tell you he doesn’t like texting so much, and wasn’t into you enough to make that effort. Read someone’s actions more than their words.
For some people your daily quota of texts would be fine. But a lot will not like it. I think you should really try to lower your expectations for texting and slow down a little bit. And having expectations of behavior like this so soon is going to trip you up next time. Try being a touch more casual and easygoing about that. Leave some room for him to surprise you with a text you didn’t have to ask for.
Telling someone when and how to text you is micromanaging.
I know you’re feeling defensive, but try to push down that impulse and see that multiple people read your post and saw similar issues with what you asked advice for. It’s not the advice you wanted, but maybe it’s what you need? Your friends already told you what you wanted to hear.
This was never going to be the guy for you, clearly- but take this experience and learn from it.
Yeah maybe, but I genuinely don’t think I included enough information from what he was doing. People on here never saw the situation so it was wrong of me to come to this platform. When you don’t hear from someone all week, it’s genuinely okay to ask for a good morning text when they told you it’s not a problem and they’ll do it. And if he didn’t want the tiny ass ask, don’t ask to be my girlfriend OR tell me you don’t want to! (-:
or he could’ve acted like he cared about me at all. that would’ve solved it swimmingly.
The thing is if you don’t hear from a guy all week, he’s not into you. 100%, no question, the guy is not into you. So there’s no point asking for more. You need to be able to read the signs. Don’t keep asking for more from a guy whose behavior says loud and clear he does not care.
and anonymousse, my daily quota of texts was one (-: most people my age think that is an insanely fair amount.
