Your best bet is probably to clearly state in your online profile that you are looking to have children, and focus on women around 37-42. There’s a chance you could find someone equally desperate to have bio kids. Unlikely to be a love match, but hey.

If it’s kids you want, it is something you can do yourself. Find yourself a surrogate. If you capable of being a single dad (good support system, stable job, financial stable, etc).

I’m a 37 year old female or felt like my time was ticking and was a single female. I started the process of going through my doctor to have a baby early in 2020 (prior to covid), and found a reputable sperm bank…from the female side, it was a fairly easy process to go through.

I’m not sure how it would work for males and finding a surrogate, if you don’t know someone who could do this for you, I’m sure you could get with your doctor for some kind of referral.

I don’t think his situation necessarily means he was “dicking around aimlessly.” It truly could be that he just didn’t connect with the right partner. That does happen — to men and to women. I know many women who didn’t have children for that reason. Lots of people want things, or try hard to have things, that just don’t work out. Life is messy.

If your imperative is to have biological children, then yes, look for women from late 30’s early 40’s and put that in your bio. But yeah, you can likely hook a much younger woman if she needs citizenship. You may need to rethink what your goals are: instead of finding a lifetime partner, you find someone with whom you can have a reasonable co-parenting relationship.

If you simply want a child, then you can seek out adoption as a single parent. It is possible.

Right, if this is all about being a father, you can be a great father to an existing kid. But maybe for you it’s about a legacy. Be honest with yourself.

You have raised a number of interesting and reasonable points and I’ll try and address them individually.

“Have you built relationships with children- are you an uncle?” – Yes I am, and over the years the experience has played a major part in making me want to bring up children of my own.

“Do you volunteer for the boys and girls club?” – No but I have taught teenagers professionally and I got great satisfaction on helping them developing and supporting them and I would consider it most fulfilling to be able to do this to children of my own and inspiring them.

“Have a lot of friends with kids?” Yes I do and I love to hear them talk about them and see how much pleasure and fulfilment they get from them and when I hear about them I always wish I could have similar fulfilment.

“Have you ever taken care of a newborn? A baby? A toddler?” – Not as such but I observed my nephews growing up and spent time with them at that time. Again I always felt that I would like to be a father myself.

“Why do you think you’d be a good father?” – When I’ve been with children I have always got on well with them and built up good relationships. I have had relationships with single mothers and build up very good relationships with their children. Their mothers told me that the children liked me. With one of my exes with whom I am still in touch as friends, she said that her children still had fond memories of me years later and how they sometimes talked about me.

“Have you mentored children?” – See what I said about my teaching experience.

“Have you considered a surrogate, adoption, fostering?” – Yes surrogacy was something I did look into some years ago and I did make some enquiries. Also a single female friend once approached me and asked me if I could be a sperm donor to her, she said that she couldn’t think of a better person than me to be the father of her child. At the time I was seeing someone so I declined the offer. Otherwise I would have most probably gone for it. After we split up my friend then said that was no longer looking at having a baby as she said that upon reflection she felt that she was too old. Now unfortunately for me, many sperm donor agencies won’t consider men over 45 or at most 50. Fostering or adoption isn’t something that I would definitely rule out even now but I would want to do so with a loving partner rather than by myself. But some adoption and fostering agencies might consider me too old too. Still I would like to have a child of my own who was my own flesh and blood if that was possible. I see what pleasure other people with children get from seeing elements of other family members in their children. If family is important to you, as it is to me, having your own children does mean that it’s all continuing to another generation and that you’re contributing to that.

“Or dating a single mother is a great idea.” – I’ve already discussed that.

“You cannot have a child with the hope it will give you the unconditional love you desire. You cannot being a child into this world win the expectation that it will fulfill you.” – I’m under no illusions about that. But I have seen enough loving relationships between parents and children, both in my own family and with friends, to make it worth me taking the chance I think. Of course nothing is guaranteed in life. But what I do know for certain is that if I do ever finally give up my hopes of fatherhood for ever, it will make me sad and regretful for all the time I have left to live.

“It’s interesting that this pretty abstract idea of having a child at your age has become more important than building a relationship with someone you love.” – I hope that I’ve made it clear that my desire to have children is more than something You have raised a number of interesting and reasonable points and I’ll try and address them individually.

“Have you built relationships with children- are you an uncle?” – Yes I am, and over the years the experience has played a major part in making me want to bring up children of my own.

“Do you volunteer for the boys and girls club?” – No but I have taught teenagers and I got great satisfaction on helping them developing and I would consider it most fulfilling to be able to do this to children of my own and inspiring them.

“Have a lot of friends with kids?” Yes I do and I love to hear them talk about them and see how much pleasure and fulfilment they get from them and when I hear about them I wish I could have similar fulfilment.

“Have you ever taken care of a newborn? A baby? A toddler?” – Not as such but I observed my nephews growing up and spent time with them at that time. Again I always felt that I would like to be a father myself.

“Why do you think you’d be a good father?” – When I’ve been with children I have always got on well with them and built up good relationships. I have had relationships with single mothers and build up good relationships with their children. Their mothers told me that they liked me. With one of my exes with whom I am still in touch as friends, she said that her children still had fond memories of me years later and how they sometimes talked about me.

“Have you mentored children?” – See what I said about my teaching experience.

“Have you considered a surrogate, adoption, fostering?” – Yes surrogacy was something I did look into some years ago and I did make some enquiries. Also a single female friend once approached me and asked me if I could be a sperm donor to her, she said that she couldn’t think of a better person than me to be the father of her child. At the time I was seeing someone so I declined the offer. Otherwise I would have most probably gone for it. After we split up my friend then said that was no longer looking at having a baby as she said that upon reflection she felt that she was too old. Now unfortunately for me, many sperm donor agencies won’t consider men over 45 or at most 50. Fostering or adoption isn’t something that I would definitely rule out even now but I would want to do so with a loving partner rather than by myself. But some adoption and fostering agencies might consider me too old too. Still I would like to have a child of my own who was my own flesh and blood if that was possible. I see what pleasure other people with children get from seeing elements of other family members in their children. If family is important to you, having your own children does mean that it’s all continuing to another generation and that you’re contributing to that.

“Or dating a single mother is a great idea.” – I’ve already discussed that.

“You cannot have a child with the hope it will give you the unconditional love you desire. You cannot being a child into this world win the expectation that it will fulfill you.” – I’m under no illusions about that. But I have seen enough loving relationships between parents and children, both in my own family and with friends, to make it worth me taking the chance I think. Of course nothing is guaranteed in life. But what I do know for certain is that if I do ever finally give up my hopes of fatherhood for ever, it will make me sad and regretful for all the time I have left to live.

“It’s interesting that this pretty abstract idea of having a child at your age has become more important than building a relationship with someone you love.” – I hope that I’ve made it clear that my desire to have children is more than something “abstract”, as you call it. And when you say “at your age”, you seem to imply that it’s only something that I’ve come to want recently. Far from it, as I pointed out in my original post, I’ve wanted it for nearly all my adult life but sadly I’ve never, as yet got to the situation with anyone where that happened. When I was younger I did sometimes wonder whether the desire would weaken as I got older but it hasn’t in the slightest. As I said in my original post I’ve known, over the years a number of men who fathered children when they were of a similar age to me and considerably older too (and they also had very happy marriages with younger wives thus giving the lie to what some respondents have suggested on here, namely that I couldn’t hope to find a genuine love match with a younger woman) and turned out to be excellent fathers. I think that I have what it takes to do this too.