Ho to tell if she's interested but hesitating, or simply not interested
- This topic has 59 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
My guess is is that she’s not interested.
Buuutttt…it wouldn’t be creepy to catch her eye and smile back, or even go up to her and say something like “Hi my name’s Eric. I keep seeing you here, so I thought I’d introduce myself.”
Just be on guard at how she reacts, and if there’s any sort of hesitation, take that as a no and gracefully leave her alone.
Most adult women are pretty good at reciprocating interest even if they’re not comfortable making the first move, so if you approach her and its not super clear whether she’s into you or not, she’s not.
Basically, always assume mixed signals=no interest.
Sort of a yes means yes situation. Air on the side of her not being interested. If assume a mixed signal might mean she’s interested and push on ahead, you run the risk of misinterpreting things and being that creepy guy who ignores what she thinks are very clear non-verbal signs of disinterest.
If a woman is interested, she’ll make it clear. If its not clear, then play it safe and assume she’s not.
Approach once with in a very low pressure way “Hello, I’m Eric” and if its not a resounding yes, assume the worst and leave her alone.
I don’t think she’s disinterested. I also don’t think she’s interested. I don’t think you can gauge a stranger’s level of interest by a gaze and am with everyone else who is saying you should say hello and see how it goes. I don’t think you run the risk of being a gym creeper unless you’re leering or don’t leave her alone if it becomes clear she’s not interested in talking.
I really doubt she purposefully moved into your sight line…maybe she was, I don’t know…working out?
You have built this up in your head, methinks.
But talk to her anyway! Maybe she is interested. Maybe she isn’t interested romantically but you guys have common interests and will become fishing buddies. Maybe a year from now her company will need to hire someone like you and you’ll get a lucrative job because you guys started chatting idly whenever you see each other at the gym. Maybe your squat form sucks and she’s trying to warn you so you don’t get injured.
Yes! Say hi, in a friendly but respectful way. Doesn’t hurt. Just if she doesn’t go much further don’t think it’s mixed signals.
I’m a little concerned that you’re reading WAY too much into what she’s “done” so far. She’s sometimes is in your line of sight and one time she inadvertently rested her arm on your towel?
I think it should be clear: From what you’ve said, she has done nothing to indicate she’s interested. She doesn’t owe you a conversation or an explanation of her behaviour.
This may come off as harsh and pessimistic, but social media and dating apps have made it abundantly clear that some men (not necessarily you!) think that just by not being invisible, women are offering themselves up as available.
So, yes, you can definitely say hi and make polite conversation and try to gauge her interest. But even if she’s interested in chatting, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to date you – she may just be friendly. The fact that you’re already looking for ways to decide she’s interested makes me want to warn you to take this VERY SLOWLY.
I don’t get the impression that LW thinks this woman owes him anything. I think he seems young and/or inexperienced. When I was a teenager I’d read into gazes and wonder if there was a deeper meaning, but it was never because I felt the other person owed me anything.
I guess that makes sense – maybe I’m jaded. 🙁
Either way – I think the LW has read too much into her behaviour and needs to approach any interaction as though she hasn’t demonstrated any interest.
I don’t think he’s read too much, because he’s here, asking. If he’d read too much into it he would have already gone up to her.
Basically, she’s already talked to him twice of her own accord. They are now “nodding acquaintances”. Whether that means she’s into him or not isn’t clear, but she at least doesn’t mind talking to him. So he’s fine to say hi or smile next time he walks by and gauge interest by her reaction.
But the examples that he’s giving of her “possible interest” are just examples of being in the same room as someone else…
