I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss!
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February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am #335546
@Sarah b, plenty of people have fantasies about people who are unattainable. That by itself isn’t necessarily a problem. If you want to continue to fantasize about your boss and imagine all of the “what-ifs,” nobody can stop you. I think you just need to be honest with yourself and make sure that your “anything can happen” attitude and fantasies about your boss aren’t interfering in your professional life or holding you back from pursuing relationships with guys who are actually available to you. Like, if you find yourself constantly comparing guys you meet to your married boss, that’s a problem. Or if you notice that you are starting to analyze your boss’s moods and behaviors to try to figure out whether he’s having marital issues, that’s a problem. Since you work closely with him and have these fantasies about him, you also need to watch your boundaries and be professional at all times. Hopefully you are able to see some of the genuine advice and suggestions commenters left for you before the thread spiraled out of control.
If you get anything from this thread, hear this: the only way you’re going to get help for anything is if you are open to suggestions. I say that as a compassionate person who genuinely wants to help. I’m saying this because SOMETHING led you here. SOMETHING triggered in your brain that there was an issue. I think you do want help, but the moment that people started giving advice that you didn’t want to hear, you closed yourself off to it and started calling people names. Things are just going to continue as they are if you only hear what you want to hear. I’ve been in that spot, only listening to what I wanted to listen to, so I know how it feels when it seems like people are ganging up on you. I also know how it feels on the other side, realizing that maybe, just maybe, it would have been beneficial to lend an open ear even if I had not wanted to hear what people were saying.
CaptainswifeFebruary 17, 2015 at 2:51 am #335554@Sarah, it looks like you’ve calmed down a little. PLease print out this thread and take it to the therapist, whom you clearly like, so that she can help you better.
I feel sorry for you that you feel you have to defend your intelligence. May I say that intelligent people generally listen to thoughtful advice (when requested) to consider carefully the reasons behind the advice and then thank the advice giver.
Intelligent people don’t flounce around making threats to internet strangers (well-meaning strangers, I might add).
Intelligent people generally have more creative ways to insult people than with four-letter words.
Intelligent people don’t feel the need to tell people they’re intelligent…it shows in their words and actions.
Intelligent people don’t contradict their own words repeatedly.
Intelligent people don’t pick and choose parts of phrases with which they’ll agree and then choose to ignore or insult the remainder.
Sarah, I’m NOT saying you’re stupid. Truly, I’m not. I will say, though, that you’ve been your own worst enemy on this thread. I do hope that you’ll get the help you so obviously need.
How long have you been going to this therapist? Sometimes it takes a while for the rapport to build enough for the therapist to level with you and really find the ways to help you help yourself. However, if it’s been a while and she’s not able to help you, it doesn’t mean she was a bad choice on your part or that she’s a bad therapist. BUT continuing to see her and pay her money doesn’t make much sense either. You’d be better off finding one you “click” with better.
Good luck to you.
February 17, 2015 at 7:39 am #335562You guys, I have a lot of hours to bill today so try to keep the fun drama contained today, ok? After the “go choke on a dick” yesterday I lost all productivity. Otherwise it’ll be another unproductive day for me, and I know you don’t want that. Mmmkay, thanks!
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