I want my boyfriend to prove he loves me
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Go to dental school! If your husband leaves you over it, then you know he’s the kind of guy who would not support you in a marriage. There will be other people in your culture who are open-minded. And maybe you could practice being open-minded yourself and consider the potential of finding a better match outside your culture.
@BM god no. A guy who places more importance on making a production out of a proposal rather than making his GF feel secure is a douchebag.
LW, all you need to say to him is that you were hoping to have commitment and move forward in your relationship towards a marriage and if his plans differ from yours, then the relationship is not working for you. If he feeds surprise line again, tell him you prefer him to be proactive rather than a drama king. Tell him a YouTube video is not worth your happiness.
And if he is that shallow, you are better off without him anyways.Oy vey baconmistress, that nonsense is a recipe for ongoing sitcom-like manipulation “I make him think it was his idea”, “If I say I don’t want to do it we’ll have a fight but if I just fuck it up by being incompetent she will do that by herself”
Your friend needs to grow the fuck up.
OP he is putting up stupid barriers, you can keep waiting or you can leave. If you leave you can tell him why but if he proposes then, you’ll always wonder if he actually wants to marry you or if he simply doesn’t like change (as in changing girlfriends). You deserve better.
Well, for an opposing anecdote, my friend thought her boyfriend was going to propose around Christmas, due to what she thought were hints. They exchanged their gifts together and a small box turned out to be a pair of earrings. She was upset, but tried to not make a big deal, and he noticed and went ahead and proposed. He’d been planning something for later, but to him, it was more important to, like, actually get engaged and not have his girlfriend sad than to control the situation.
Anyone who is THAT hung up on controlling all the details of a proposal is probably not ready for marriage — a partnership in which you don’t always get to be in charge and have to think about someone else’s feelings sometimes.
Since we’re sharing anecdotes, I know two marriages which started through some type of ultimatum – the woman saying, “We’ve been dating a while, and I want to get married, so either propose or we’re broken up.”
Both couples have been married for over forty years at this point, and one of the guys has said he feels very lucky for having been pushed into taking the plunge and getting married, because it was a scary decision but it has given him decades of happiness. (I’m not that close to the other couple, but they certainly share the story of how she broke up with him, and he showed up a month later and asked if it was too late.)
So. Ancedota! It sounds like neither woman cried, though, they just asked for what they wanted in their relationships.
But that means nothing for this particular relationship. I’m really confused as to the whole “proposal” question. Have you asked him about getting married, or just a proposal? Because if you sat him down and said, “I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?” then that might get a different answer from “I want you to propose,” where he can say, “it’s coming,” and you’re left with the status quo.
Do you want to marry me is a yes or no question, and I’m really curious as to what his answer would be. And if he says yes, he does want to marry you, just say “Great! I’ll start planning the wedding.”
But it does sound at this point that you’re pretty frustrated with him, in which case maybe just breaking up will be better. If you’re not sure about your relationship, getting married won’t help; it will just aggravate all your problems.
