You didn’t say how old either of you are, but I assume over 18 if you each have your own apartment. Your behavior (and his) is immature. The ball is in his court. Don’t go crawling back to him. You teach people how to treat you. Get a hobby or take lessons in something like tennis, dancing, or take a class. English grammar would be a good start at a Community College. Any and all of these will increase your self esteem.

Oh yeah – this is over. Assume that if he reaches out it’s for one of two things: He wants his stuff or he wants sex. Don’t do any further damage by ruining his stuff (just put it in a box in your closet) or by sleeping with him. Your ego will not handle it well.

I’ve read your story and here’s what I can tell you definitively: No one, not even the person with whom you are closest and most intimate can read your mind. Ever.

In this one argument you noted that twice you expected him to read your mind -so in your next relationship figure out how to communicate with a person better.

First you expected him to know why you were angry – and it would seem you held your tongue on the stupid stuff until you couldn’t take it any more. Instead you blew up at him over petty stuff and he felt attacked. So he lashed out. Next time try – “It makes me feel…. when you … can we talk about that?” If someone dismisses your feelings – “you don’t feel that way” that’s a red flag. If they say “I didn’t realize…” then you parry with “So how do we fix it” Relationships are about finding the common path -not bending someone to your way or the highway.

Second -you say right out there “I told him to leave. I wanted him to stop shouting.” Right there – how the hell is anyone supposed to know that. Seriously. Did you say to him: Please, I understand you’re frustrated and angry. Can we talk about this without shouting because I’m worried the neighbors will call the cops to complain about the noise?

It’s also unfair to him because you got him backed into a corner and at that point the only things he can do is: Yell to defend himself. Leave. Agree with you in word but not in deed which will start the fight again but later. Agree with you and do everything that you ask and also start to fart rainbows because that isn’t how life works is it?

In short, you need to grow the hell up.

I love how the go to excuse some of you have is the GUY wasn’t emotionally ready to have a girlfriend and blah bkah blah. More likely he wasn’t ready to have a relationship with somebody he damn well knew would damn well soon go psycho on him… 😉

EXACTLY. This was just the last straw…

Just to join the chorus, I too had a freakout rather like this, which was the finale of years of slowly increasing on-again off-again drama. I’m not trying to abdicate my own responsibility for my shitty behavior, but he definitely stoked the flames, because he confused drama for passion (in all his relationships), and I started to see it that way too while I was with him. For me, my part in the drama and bullshit was exclusively confined to that relationship–I didn’t ever do anything like it before, and haven’t since. I know how particular personalities can get to you, leading to bad behavior you wouldn’t have thought yourself capable of.

Now I get to carry around the shame and “cringe” (like someone else mentioned) of my lame-ass behavior forever. In retrospect, that shitty situation was SOOO not worth my emotional energy, and even if it was, the most powerful action I could have taken was to walk away rather than feed into the drama.

ignore the above bad advice. Nobody is required to talk to you after they break up with you. Yes, this was your fault. Your behavior precipitated the fight and your lack of emotional control needs fixing.