I’m about to move out but my budget makes me scared. Can you help me?
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All numbers I put down are true. 41K is my after-tax earnings on my gross of 48K.
No studio apartments. Isn’t that insane? Well, there are very few, but they’re calling them 1-bedrooms now for nearly the same price.
I’ve been considering private landlords. Where do I find them? I remember searching on Zillow for some and came up with zilch.
I’m wary of roommates. It is a total wild card as to what kind of person you’re going to get. It looks like there’s a way for me to do it on my own, especially as I can see I was overestimating on gas and toiletries, food too. There’s also a side hustle I have that I know can bring in a few extra hundred a month.
What was that whole thing about living on your own with a boyfriend anyway?
It’s hard to imagine how a 20-something female roommate could be more of a danger to you than your father, and there’s a chance you’d have some decent company, someone to hang out with. You mentioned on your other thread under this name that you don’t have friends. Craigslist is probably where you go for shared apartments, or some local apartment directory like apartments.com. Even if you do have to go with the 1-bed in an apartment complex, so be it. But I like the idea of a roommate situation for you so you’re not lonely, keep saving money, and maybe observe how regular people socialize.
Re: boyfriend/living on your own post — the story wasn’t true but the advice still helped. The “d*ck in you” comment was similar to a comment my father said to a half-sister a long time ago. I felt like it was something that could come up again when I moved out myself and began dating. It was just a low moment of trying to deconstruct some things and prepare for when they come up.
On that note, their handwringing on me moving out has already begun. (Something came up some months ago where it was impossible to not tell them. But whatever.)
I have 3-4 places as options. My mom has offered a few times for them to take a look at the places to help me decide. I basically said, “Thanks, but I got it.” She acquiesced, but they insist every so often I should get their help.
Answer is still no. I’m going to sign a lease without telling them. I’ve toured places and visited furniture stores (for price ideas) without them, and I’ll continue to, but it is so annoying, their overprotectiveness and shock at having to “let go of the reigns” of an adult daughter.
I don’t understand how your take home pay is $41k if your salary is $48k, but I guess I was mistaken about the $70k. I thought I saw that number in your original post.
Either way, you can make things work with the money you have. IMO that’s part of being an adult even without a bad at-home situation. Ultimately up to you where you want to sacrifice a little to make it work. I do remember your post about moving out and feeling isolated so I do think a roommate is a good idea. You can probably find someone about your age who is also a recent-ish grad through social media platforms. And you can meet for coffee or something before moving in to make sure it’s a good fit. There are ways to find and choose roommates that make living with a stranger less overwhelming. Otherwise, I find it hard to believe that living in the area you do, there aren’t studios available.
I mistakenly guessed the gross salary was $70k based off idk what. I’m in a higher tax bracket and I was going off of my take-home, which also accounts for a lot more deductions, so yeah, the comparison was way off. $48k gross does work out to around $41k net in her state. I checked because this LW is an unreliable narrator and I started getting a bad feeling that she doesn’t have a job and works under the table for her dad. But she mentioned the job in her first post and I do believe it exists.
Got it. I’d have assumed $60-70k gross based on what I’m used to but I get it, it varies. Sorry for the bad reading and assumptions, LW.
Also meant to add that therapy can help with stuff like unpacking the family issues, childhood trauma, and setting boundaries with them. In my own life, it has been very helpful for that.
Chiming in late –
I work from home. I fill the tank maybe once a month. Unless you’re driving to free activities like parks or the library, or you’re in a very very rural area where it takes a half hour to get to the local supermarket, you don’t have enough money to drive so much. Where are you going and is there a cheaper way to get there?As much as Amazon is hated, you can get deals on bulk-ish purchases for toiletries and get a better selection/price point on a lot of things you need for the home. Toothpaste, toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, etc. You can reduce your overall costs by shopping online.
Avoid “convenience fees” – ticket fees for movies and shows – go to the box office if you can. Gallon of milk from the 7-11 versus Walmart, etc. (and while I refuse to shop at Walmart, I can’t fault someone who doesn’t have a lot to spare from doing so).
And not for nothing, but you can make your own cleaners with cheaper ingredients like Borax and Cleaning Powder that will work just as well as pricier brands.
Stay with the pricier studio if it is a nicer place to live with a decent view. You work from home. You’ll be there a lot.
I didn’t realize who you were, so forget my previous advice.
There is no excuse for you not to be pursuing therapy right now. If you’ll have 10K after moving expenses and furniture purchases, you can absolutely afford therapy. If you can’t do in person sessions now, there are low-cost, online options like the app Better Help, that can have you talking with someone within 24 hours. You can even text with them if you’re home all the time and don’t want to be overheard in a video or phone call.
You also need to move out, yesterday. If your parents found out about your plan months ago, that means you’ve been dragging your feet for way too long. It doesn’t sound like you actually want to move out, because you’re making up a lot of excuses. If you wait for the perfect, ideal situation to move out, you’ll never leave.
Yes, there’s no guarantee you won’t get a crappy roommate, but if you vet people carefully, you can greatly increase your chances of finding a good one. Some of my closest friendships started as roommates.
Figure out what you want (cleanliness standards, house rules, splitting groceries or not, etc.) and advertise for someone like-minded. Let them know you work from home and need someone who is quiet or will be out of the apartment for most of the day. You can say you’d like someone you can go out and be social with, or that you prefer to be left alone to do your own thing, or that you like space but would be down to make popcorn and watch a movie together once a week. You can look for someone who would want to split groceries and cook meals together, or for someone who likes to eat at a different time from you so you can each get the kitchen to yourself.
I’ve made some long-lasting friendships by choosing roommates.
I didn’t realize who you were, so forget my previous advice.
There is no excuse for you not to be pursuing therapy right now. If you’ll have 10K after moving expenses and furniture purchases, you can absolutely afford therapy. If you can’t do in person sessions now, there are low-cost, online options like the app Better Help, that can have you talking with someone within 24 hours. You can even text with them if you’re home all the time and don’t want to be overheard in a video or phone call.
You also need to move out, yesterday. If your parents found out about your plan months ago, that means you’ve been dragging your feet for way too long. It doesn’t sound like you actually want to move out, because you’re making up a lot of excuses. If you wait for the perfect, ideal situation to move out, you’ll never leave.
Yes, there’s no guarantee you won’t get a crappy roommate, but if you vet people carefully, you can greatly increase your chances of finding a good one. Some of my closest friendships started as roommates.
Figure out what you want (cleanliness standards, house rules, splitting groceries or not, etc.) and advertise for someone like-minded. Let them know you work from home and need someone who is quiet or will be out of the apartment for most of the day. You can say you’d like someone you can go out and be social with, or that you prefer to be left alone to do your own thing, or that you like space but would be down to make popcorn and watch a movie together once a week. You can look for someone who would want to split groceries and cook meals together, or for someone who likes to eat at a different time from you so you can each get the kitchen to yourself.
I’ve made some long-lasting friendships by choosing roommates.
A cursory search of rentals in your location pulled up dozens of affordable studio apartments.
