So you have this relationship that is in constant crises. That should tell you that the relationship doesn’t work and that you need to move on. There is a cruelty in your relationship, a meanness and a huge lack of honesty. You don’t have a solid foundation for long term happiness. You don’t have short term happiness. You just jump from one crises to the next. Everyone can fall in love with someone who isn’t compatible. Everyone can fall in love with someone who isn’t good for them. Everyone can fall in love with someone who is emotionally harmful to them. The love, at least on your side, is very real but that doesn’t make the relationship a good one or a healthy one.

Your relationship is just limping along from one dramatic blow up to the next. That is no foundation for anything. It certainly isn’t a good foundation for living together and absolutely should rule out any thought of purchasing a house together. You should only purchase a house with someone when you can assume that the two of you can afford the long term financial commitment that goes with a mortgage and can assume that the relationship will last during that long germ financial commitment. Drug addicts have a high rate of relapse. You could easily find yourself funding the house by yourself while your boyfriend goes to jail or to rehab or both. Can you financially pull the weight of a mortgage by yourself? Can you extricate yourself if the two of you break up? How much of an emergency fund do the two of you have? These are the questions you need to be able to answer before you purchase a home with a drug addict.

You should break up. This relationship is far to fraught with angst for it to be a happy long term relationship. But if you don’t break up, which I’m assuming you won’t, don’t make any large financial commitments like a mortgage. Don’t combine bank accounts. Don’t merge your credit in any way. Before doing any of those things make sure you have two good years. Two years with no crises, not even one. Two years where the two of you are kind and considerate partners. Two years where there is no hint of drug abuse or lies. If any of those things happen then the two years starts all over. If he demands you change yourself you start the two years over. If he loses or quits a job without first having a replacement job you start the two years over because financial stability requires job stability. If he says anything cruel you start the two years over. If you find he has a major secret that could drastically affect your life together then the two years start again from the beginning. I think you’ll find that you can’t go a month without having to start the two year clock all over again. All this to say that you don’t have the stability or harmony or trust needed for a long term relationship. You have the love but love by itself can’t carry a relationship.

You have posted on this site with multiple aliases about numerous issues with your boyfriend. That’s why you were called delusional. He’s a mess. He doesn’t like it if you get “emotional” after two glasses of wine. He told you to lose weight! His sister called you to tell you about his past addictions (did he lose his job, too?) and the story sounds exactly like a story about someone else that he told you…these are all huge warning signs and you are still just going to push forward with this.
Why?
You know this isn’t right. You wouldn’t be writing in twice a week if this was a functional relationship with a shot of longevity.
If you were my friend or sister, I’d be begging you to lose his number. If this was happening to your sister, what would you do? This guy is a mess, he’s mean and it sound like he has some looming problems with employment, depression…
Please do not quit your job and move to be with him.

And you mentioned he’s suicidal?

You can’t fix him. Your love isn’t enough to save him or change him. He has to want that for himself.