I need advice. My obsese husband wants a divorce and hates me because I don’t “love” his body the way he is and because I’m not “attracted enough”, nor do we have enough sex. This is not the only reason for divorce, but a big one. We also have a child together fyi. He says I lied to him by making him believe I was attracted to his body. I started dating my husband 12 years ago when he was around 260lbs, he’s 5’11, and about 80lbs overweight. I was thin and in shape, about 125lbs, and a lot of people tell me I’m very attractive. I fell in love with him. He’s very handsome, even though he was technically severely obese. I loved him for who he was on the inside, he was unlike anyone I’d ever met. He was so funny, smart, kind, and had such a unique view of the world. We used to have a lot of sex in the beginning, and I was attracted to him, he has a very handsome face, but I didn’t love his big body though. His weight limited what we could do sexually. He was just too big to do certain positions, so sex became boring. He would always want to have sex, and would initiate quite more than I would. I never turned him down if he initiated though. He began to ask why I would never initiate sex? But I would brush it off. I never once told him that I thought he should lose weight, or that I would be more attracted to him if he lost weight which would of resulted in us having sex more often. Is it wrong that I was never honest with him? He says he can’t trust me anymore, and thinks that our whole relationship was a lie and that I robbed him of finding someone who could of loved him, and his body, for who he was. I honestly don’t know what to think.

He reached his biggest about a year before we married, at about 340lbs, very little sex happening at this point. But still if he engaged, I would still have sex with him. Because I loved him, and still enjoyed being close to him. But the sex itself was bland. So that’s why I never initiated. I just wasn’t turned on by him as much as I used to be. He lost almost 90 lbs over the next year though, and was looking great! He was about 250lbs, the lightest he’d been since I met him. But after we got married, he put on weight again and rose back to about 290lbs. Finally, after we’d been married for a few years, and after our son was born, he pressed the issue of our sex life, and the argument got heated to the point where he asked me “if I lost weight would we have more sex?” to which I finally admitted, “yes”. It broke his spirit when I admitted that I wasn’t attracted to his body. Now after several problems with our marriage, and just going through the motions for a few years, he asked for a divorce. And I don’t want to just end the marriage like that. We’re in counseling, and this weight and sex life issue came up in therapy recently. Which was a huge step back now that I’m being honest about it. What do I do? Am I a huge jerk? Have I been misleading him? Yes, I would love to have a great sex life, and a spouse I’m turned on by, and “horny” for. But its not a deal breaker for me, nor a reason to end the marriage. Especially since we have a child and we’re a family. What do I do? I need advice.