Sleeping with the Dog
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DO NOT GET PREGNANT. You will be never be as exhausted as you are when you’re pregnant and then dealing with a newborn. And you will want to murder that damn dog/your boyfriend.
Yeah, I think this is a deal-breaker.
“i guess i honestly thought that eventually, he would decide that my well being more important enough to compromise with me and make the dog (both of them obviously) sleep on the floor.”
Well, it looks like he has decided the opposite. I don’t think this bodes well for your relationship. Try counseling.
I’d move out.
I’ve always been a bad sleeper. I need quiet, darkness, and no one touching me. My dog used to sleep in bed with me before I met my husband and just kind of curl up behind me and stay still. Once we moved in together we transitioned the dog to his own bed, but he’d still get in with us in the middle of the night. My husband went out of his way to keep the dog on his side and out of my way and not kicking me with his feet. He cares that I sleep, and it’s obviously good for him too if I sleep well. Your boyfriend doesn’t care about your sleep and that’s BS. For people saying, but that’s how it was before you moved in, well, that’s true, but it’s not unreasonable to expect the dog to get his own bed and sleeping habits to change. You adjust if you really care.
My husband snored and had cats in the bed (who moved around every few hours at night) when I met him.
Now, the cats sleep elsewhere and he’s got a sleep apnea machine. We both get our rest. He made these changes because he loves me and wants me to be healthy/happy.
We would be sleeping in separate beds/rooms if he insisted on keeping the cats in the bed. If he insisted on sleeping together, AND he demanded the cats sleep with us… well, actually I can’t imagine that. Because my husband isn’t a selfish fucking jerk.
He really is saying loud and clear that the dog is more important than you are. I suppose counseling could be worth a shot if you wanted to feel like you did all you possibly could, and you do feel this relationship is worth saving. But with a statement like this being made, I doubt it.
I think he’s saying loud and clear that she knew the deal when she moved in and it ain’t changing. He’s not being an asshole here, she knew it was a problem and moved in anyway without fixing it because she thought he would cave. Sorry OP you literally made your bed, it’s on you to move out.
I don’t think he’s saying the dog’s sleep is more important – but I do think he’s saying that HIS sleep is more important. That for him to sleep well he heeds both you and the dog and if he can only pick one, he’s going to pick the dog.
Which as I type this may mean that the dog is more important – but it could simply be that he’s trying to punish you by picking the dog because he’s a petty petty man. I think based on his “And now I’m taking my blanket and going home” routine and then mutters to the dog “I’ll show her, I’ll just sleep ALONE, with my GIANT DOG, while she gets the WHOLE BED TO HERSELF because she’s SELFISH” is the more likely option.
I don’t like him.
And he’s not a selfish fucking jerk. If anything,she is for expecting something without communicating. I would call that a bait and switch.
“He’s not being an asshole here,”
Oh, yes, he ABSOLUTELY is. His position is she’s a selfish whiner for needing to be able to sleep.
Fucking asshole.
She’s communicating loud and clear. She’s saying, “I cannot sleep with the dog in the bed.”
He is saying, “I don’t care. Get in that bed exactly the way I want, and I don’t give two shits whether you actually sleep or not.”
Real nice.
How? By not caving to his girlfriend who knew it was a problem but said nothing until she moved in? Fuck that, the dog was there the whole time. She did a total bait and switch and you’re calling HIM the asshole? Dude you’re whacked.
I’d move out. His refusal to find a compromise that works for both of you isn’t good. Yes, you knew he slept with the dog when you moved in together. At the same time partners have to have a degree of flexibility. You can’t maintain everything in exactly the way you have always done them when you are in a relationship. If something doesn’t work for one partner it doesn’t work for the relationship and if one partner is unhappy then the relationship is unhappy. What else will be a problem because he can’t be flexible? Why be so unwilling to try various solutions? I’d personally be afraid to remain in a relationship with someone who is this inflexible. Life throws changes at you and if you can’t handle them you can’t handle life. This is a very basic relationship test and he’s failing it.
I wouldn’t try to change him. I’d move out and seriously consider moving on unless you want to continue a long term relationship with two homes. That will work until you have children and it sounds like you do want children. If you live in two homes with children you will have all of the child care. I’d personally find somebody who cares enough to want me to be able to sleep. I’d want someone who could say that they had hoped the sleeping situation would work the way they liked it but if it didn’t then they would try something else.
