Uncle or father? I don't want him to be her dad. I need advice.
- This topic has 80 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 11 months ago by
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Yes, honestly, you’re being irrational AF. Stop listening to people who say this drug-abusing, woman-beating criminal is going to come and take your child. Stop doing DNA tests. Stop taking this loser’s calls. Stop talking to your daughter about him or even considering letting her meet him.
Start finding out legal facts. Look into legal aid. Go on your state’s website and learn what resources are available to you.
And (once again!) it’s time for me to plug tubal ligation… LW? Look into it. Like today! Oh, and stop fucking loser brothers and listening to dimwitted mothers! Merry Christmas! God Bless Us, Everyone!
Identigene says that if there are two related possible fathers you need to let them (identigene) know. If you didn’t do that I think you can assume your daughter and the possible father are biologically related but you can’t assume he is the father. You would need to talk to a lawyer and perhaps a geneticist to figure that out for sure.
I think you need to cut all contact. Block the possible father in all ways. If you receive a call or message from him don’t reply. You have no obligation to him. You have no obligation to reply to him in any way. You do have an obligation to your daughter. You need to keep her safe. Your job is to protect her. If he isn’t good for her don’t include him in her life. Don’t send him any more photos. I doubt that a guy who has serious legal problems would try to take you to court for paternity rights.
If there was a month in between, you can be certain it’s not the living drug addict’s child. Your doctor would have dated the pregnancy with accuracy. There is not really much wiggle room in fetus size.
Block him. Cut all contact.
And make better, thoroughly thought out decisions. Be careful. Why contact him, when you didn’t know all of this stuff about him? Why let him talk to her? Your one duty, you’re one absolutely crucial responsibility as a parent is to protect your daughter and make decisions in her best interest.
And no, I’m sorry, he’s not a “good person” if he has issues with domestic assault, drug use, etc. Good people aren’t abusing drugs, assaulting people, going to jail and ending up under house arrest. I feel pretty confident that those things qualify him as not a great person. Not a great father figure or adult male role model.
Consult a lawyer. It will ease your mind and you’ll be ready if he ever attempted to take you to court. I highly doubt he’s that motivated to get involved with the judiciary.
No judge in good conscience would ever force visitation with a man with assault and drug convictions who has no relationship with his child.
The whole month difference IS exactly why I feel so strongly about the dead brother being her REAL father. I’ve tried speaking with my mom about this, but she thinks I’m in denial. I’m usually right on my gut instinct and I feel that it would be wrong to let my daughter continue to believe that this is her dad. I could be wrong and he really might be her dad…all I know is that I would like another test done except this time I would like for then to test more markers. I went on a parenting forum asking for advice about my situation, and almost everyone on there said that I was crazy and needed to see a shrink since I thought the test was wrong. I’m glad to see that the people on here are more supportive.
I have ate myself up in worry about this. I have repeatedly questioned myself as to why I contacted him. I guess that I finally wanted to see if he was my daughter’s dad. What really worries me is the fact that my daughter doesn’t care to meet him. He’s supposed to be coming down here as soon as he’s off house arrest (I dread it).
I’m going to show this to my mom so she can see that YES, dead brother could be her dad. One question…how do I bring this up to her “dad” without him getting upset? Do I just bring it up during a casual conversation or should I just send him a message?
A relative told me that if he took parenting classes and supervised visits, that a judge would grant him rights. It’s safe to say that I’ve been worried like crazy since I was told this.
Okay… Is your entire family mentally challenged? Really. As it would sure explain a few things…
Bittergaymark- I know that I’ve made some dumb decisions but I can reassure you that I’m not slow or whatever you’re try to insinuate. As for my relatives, I can’t speak for them.
If you are really this worried, you need to speak to an attorney. Not to your relatives and not to an anonymous Internet forum.
It doesn’t sound like your daughter was asking about her bio father. Why did you establish contact? Why did you continue contact after it was clear that the guy was a loser and your daughter wanted no part of it?
(This has GOT to be the same writer as the other post. The details are almost identical.)
I did call an attorney, only to find out that they wanted money upfront. I’m not rich by any means, so what am I supposed to do? I was told that I can go and get a free lawyer, so I guess that will be the route that I will go IF he decides to take me to court. I highly doubt that he would do that.
I could tell that my daughter was curious as to who her dad was. I felt bad that she was already eight and didn’t have her father in her life. I guess I wanted to make things right. I figured that it was best to find out while she’s young instead of waiting until she’s a teen or older. I felt that by contacting him, it would open up a more positive door, I didn’t count on him being a loser now. It would be horrible if he was really the uncle and he somehow did gain rights to her. That’s why I’m on here…to see if I’m making the right decision in asking him for another test. I could go into more detail but that would take all day.
