Why has he ghosted me?
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LMAO. How did your husband like the texts? He read them all right? You would be totally cool if he reconnected with the one that got away, right? You wouldn’t mind if he told a woman that she was the one he should be with? What if a woman he crushed on as a kid told him that and he kept flirting and planned to meet with her? You had an emotional affair and you very likely would have cheated. If not why were you flirting? You planned to meet in a group so you could tell yourself you didn’t *mean* for anything to happen. Oops! Too many cocktails, how did that happen?! Stop lying to yourself. Or are you really so stupid that you think flirting with an old friend and texting all day every day is innocent? Show your husband those transcripts then come back and tell us how far off base we are because of our sordid little minds.
Agreed – people said you were playing with fire. No one said you had your pants off. No one accused you of setting up secret meetings.
You included information in your very first post about what he said NOW that was clearly if not over the line, right at the very edge of it.
@Kate’s right – if you are so confident that both of you showed the most righteous behavior, hand your phone to your husband right now and have him read everything. EVERYTHING. If that thought makes you a little queasy… that’s on you.LW, I know how good it makes you feel to connect with someone. Be flattered by someone. Get attention. I had an emotional affair a long while ago with someone different. It was a mess because I let it get too far.
This guy, your friend, had the sense to stop. He decided to work on his marriage. Really, I agree that if you aren’t comfortable showing your husband the conversations, you did something wrong.
The key is to figure out what and use that information to work on your marriage. What needs aren’t being met that you found elsewhere?
EDT: I figured out what I was lacking in my relationship at the time I had the emotional affair. At that point, the relationship was beyond repair, but not for lack of trying. I did use that information to help choose my husband. I didn’t want to fall into the same trap again.
Juliecatharine you are a bitter nasty piece of work and should learn to read things properly before spitting nasty shit to people. You have gotten it all so wrong. He was not a childhood crush for me (and I never said that so I don’t know where you got that idea from) just a really good friend, nothing more. He liked me when we were kids (never said he still did now). We got a little flirty once or twice (intimate was completely the wrong word to use because it wasn’t like that and it just sent everyone off on a tangent), but we never once talked about DOING anything intimate. Like I said, you and some others got the wrong end of the stick but maybe that was my fault for wording some things the wrong way. I am signing out of this website now and will never be returning so I wont see anymore responses. Think before judging incorrectly JulieKatharine!!!!!!
Since you know better than everyone why are you still reading this? I thought you wanted to leave since you didn’t hear the answers you wanted. Suck it up and accept that you were in the wrong or leave because we are exhausted with your BS. You may have convinced yourself but you aren’t convincing us.
You can have intimate conversations without it being about sex. Also, I’m really curious if you’re comfortable letting your husband know about everything you discussed with your friend.
She can’t ask her husband because she knows she’s wrong. I will never comprehend people who want advice but refuse to accept that advice may prove their initial thoughts to be incorrect.
Your topic, without any extraneous or confounding details, was “why has he ghosted me?” First, ‘ghosted’ is usually applied to romantic relationships, not friendships. Second, the answer to your question is exactly what all of us have been saying: his wife found out, she didn’t approve of what he was doing with you, and she made him stop. Or he grew a conscience and stopped on his own, though that’s significantly less likely in my experience.
Intimacy doesn’t equal sexy. Intimacy is sharing details about your life, your hopes, your dreams, your goals. I share intimate details about my life on this site. Believe me when I say, it is not sexy.
People have intimate relationships that are platonic. They can be balanced with healthy romantic relationships. But when you are in a romantic relationship and too much attention is focused on this emotional relationship – the marriage suffers.
You interpreted the word “intimate” as sexxxy time -that’s on your brain and it’s quite telling.
LW: My friend said maybe his wife found out! Do you think it’s because of his wife?
Everyone: Yes, this isn’t behavior most people find acceptable in a marriage, so his wife probably found out or he came to his senses.
LW: How dare you! You are sick and twisting my words!Except that everyone here is just agreeing with your friend, LW, and explaining why. If this was as innocent as you claim, why would anyone (let alone everyone! Including a friend who has fa-haaar more context for you than we do!) speculate that it’s likely his wife found out and was not okay with it?
I sometimes have more intimate conversations with friends via text, in the sense of sharing personal details. But really not with anyone of the opposite sex who’s straight, and my husband could read through all my history at any time, not that he would, and find nothing of any concern. If he saw things getting flirty with a guy, and the guy saying stuff like this guy said to you, he’d certainly be concerned.
