Dear Wendy
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Amen, Kate.
I once went out on four dates with a guy who never kissed me and I remember thinking that was so weird and what did he want and was the something wrong with him or wrong with me. I think I was just so ready to find someone and had talked him up in my head and made excuses for the lack of chemistry that I probably would have given him a fifth date (and maybe more!) to make a move, but he ended up ghosting me after the fourth and that was that.
When a guy’s really into you and not just trying to figure out if he’s into you and not trying to talk himself into being into a woman who’s good on paper, you won’t need four or five or six (or seven or eight or nine!!!) dates before you know. He will remove all doubt earlier than that. And if he doesn’t, well, he’s probably not someone who’d be good at a relationship anyway.
Dating: it really, really sucks. Until it totally doesn’t.
Veritek: time to pull back. This guy should plan a great date asap and should kiss you on that date great. If it doesnt happen within one week, MOA. And don’t be too fast to return his texts. Wait an hour or so. Even (or especially) if it’s a text asking you out again.
LadyE: You should pull back too and let this guy take the lead. He had five drinks and crashed overnight at your place and didn’t try to even kiss you? That’s weird.
Also! Don’t ask someone what they want when you aren’t sure if you’re dating or hanging as friends. It should be a more show than tell kind of thing. If a guy is into you and wants to be more than friends, he will show you. Especially if you are inviting him over, getting him liquored up, and running your fingers through his hair on your couch. If he’s not showing you some indication of his feelings at that point, I wouldn’t get hopes up too high that there’s anything more than a friendship thing happening.
I say if there’s no kiss at the end of tomorrow’s date, MOA. Eight dates and nothing physical sends alarm bells. Something is off. And what’s the point in trying to figure out what that something is and trying to fix it? No point. I’ve had a couple times in my life when I went out with a guy three or four times and got not so much as a kiss and it was always a sign that we weren’t right for each other. I’m sorry – I know that sucks to hear, but if I were you, I wouldn’t waste any more time on this guy if something doesn’t happen by the end of tomorrow’s date.
Also, I think it sort of says something that of the three date options you gave him, he chose the most g-rated (not to mention the shortest time commitment). I mean, you can get frisky in a dark movie theater. You can definitely get frisky in someone’s home. But a crowded ice cream parlor on a summer evening? Cute, sure, but not very sexy. I’d think my date 8 (or is it 7?), a guy would want to go sexy. But… let’s see what happens.
I don’t know @honeybee. You’d think with all the threats I’ve received, the internet police would have thrown me into internet jail by now!
That’s exactly what I thought, @booknerd. Clearly, both the stepmother and the father are off their rockers. I just hope the mom provides a bit more stability.
I responded to her that I recommended she get professional help and she wrote: “Thanks for being nice! I was hoping sorry for the the bad words you said. I think you need a therapy yourself.”
doozy bump
I miss Sarah b. I wonder if she is still fantasizing about her boss. I wonder if he left his wife yet. I wonder how everything is going at Golden Corral. Sarah B? Check in with us and let us know #whathashappened.
I think that might be true about gingers. When I think of redheads I know who lived into their 80s and 90s, they did seem to age a little more slowly than average. Until his mid-80s or so, my grandfather, a redhead who died at 90, always looked at least 10 years younger (and his hair was red almost until the very end).
Yeah, seriously on the kids thing. Before I had Jackson (when I was 35), people regularly told me I looked at least 5 years younger (and I believed them because I thought the same thing). After 3+ years of parenting (including many, many sleepless nights, long days, very little “me time,” etc., etc.), I think I pretty much look my age now. There’s a photo on our wall of the three of us when Jackson was 4 days old and I swear I look like I’m about 27 or 28. I have aged A LOT since then. All my friends my age who don’t have children look younger than the ones who do. Oh, but it’s worth it, yada, yada, yada… 😉
That said, I do occasionally still get carded. When it’s very dark and very late and the bartender is basically carding everyone — but I’ll take it!
Way to tie it all together in a nice bow, Addie!
