CurlyQue
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I think people also need to remember, those who grew up “back in your day” with being left alone for hours, little to no supervision, etc. those are the people who grew up and decided that’s not how they wanted to parent their own kids.
I also don’t understand why it’s such a big deal to let this woman stay and visit with you and the two other parents who are staying. Ask her for assistance if you need it, but i mean how long can a birthday party for 6/7 year olds be? She’s not going to over stay her welcome this time because it’ll be very obvious when the party is over…and you’ll say “Thank you for coming, Bye!”
I don’t know how you even let her stay for dinner the last time. Maybe she thought you were both having a pleasant time and couldn’t figure out how to get herself out of the situation either. You might just both be socially awkward.
Everyone’s given great insight, i just wanted to add my two cents. I put off dating during the pandemic and have recently gotten back on the apps now that i am fully vaccinated. I think you are putting WAY too much emotional investment into these first dates. I think this because you are honestly upset when they ghost and don’t want a second date. Online dating for better or worse gives you hundreds of people at your fingertips it’s why when someone shows a yellow or a red flag it’s easier to nope out.
To be very honest, if i had a date talking about paying a ransom to get his car fixed i would see that as a yellow flag. A yellow flag with no chemistry or big positives is an easy nope. There’s just too many people out there for me to waste time on something i don’t see potential in especially when i’m seeing flags.
I wish you lots of luck. I suggest looking at a first date as a chance to get out and have a drink/meal with someone and to feel them out. Lower your expectations of a second date and just see how the first one goes.
@fyodor she is not. She goes to Sutter? but doesn’t want to go to their main facility because she says it’s too far for her to drive. She wouldn’t know how to use the maps app so i also have to find a place she already knows how to get to.
I’m on the family text thread which is just my aunts, uncles and grandfather because i want to be kept in the loop with my mother gone, and they’re all posting happy vaccine photos and i’m just annoyed. She has 7 living children and a million grandchildren and it bothers me that only myself and one aunt seems to be trying to help. Anyways rant over.
I’m in WA and 34 yrs old and got an alert from my doctor office app a couple weeks ago to schedule the vaccine and it was sooo easy. Compare that to me still trying to find a covid vaccine location near my grandmother in north California. She doesn’t drive much and only wants to go to one specific CVS so i refresh the page every morning but so far no luck.
I truly believe there are tons of elderly people falling through the cracks because they don’t use/understand modern technology. I mean i got the alert on my smart phone via my doctor’s app, my grandmother barely has the internet and doesn’t know how to use it. I just keep trying and have my fingers crossed.
Congratulations! I’ve really enjoyed being able to read your story as it’s progressed in this thread and wish you and your lil family all the best.
So happy for you BGM!
I have hope because i can’t not have hope. November will either be the cherry on top of this shitty year or hopefully a change for the better.
Oh, and my brother is feeling much better, and my sil tested negative for covid so she’s sick with something else currently.
Aww thank you ktfran and Copa. He seems to be doing fine. He did mention that he’s allowed to go back out once he hasn’t had symptoms for 3 days, in which case he might go to work (instead of working from home which he’s currently doing). I told him the clock would be 3 days with no symptoms for his wife, since she’s now sick and they obviously live together. He didn’t like that response.
It’s exciting to hear about all of your bike plans! The weather has been gorgeous and it’s such a great idea.
Thank you everyone for your well wishes! Their oxygen numbers are good, and when i called yesterday i only got one word answers ’cause he was working. Such a workaholic to be working while positive for covid. Ugh.
His work is a processing warehouse/plant for frozen fruit. He works in the office and he claims there were safety guidelines in place but i don’t know how that’s possible when so many of them got sick.
All the pictures from Memorial weekend of the crowds is just depressing.
My brother tested positive last Monday, and my SIL came down with a fever this weekend. He’s the first person i know whose been infected and it was a shock because here in the Pacific NW it felt like everything was winding down. It’s come out that his work has 65 confirmed cases (and 87 negative), enough to stop our county from moving into phase 2 (which we were previously on track to do).
Not sure what to do, but i’m checking in daily and they know they can reach out and we’ll grab groceries, pick up normal prescriptions, etc. My SIL is already immune compromised so i think she’ll have a hard road.
@Anon you’ve already shown him that his smoking isn’t a big deal to you (by the leaving and coming back and having his children). I’m unsure why you felt he needed to be with the daughter if she was patched up and feeling better, but i also get your frustration that he’s not carrying his parental load and instead smoking. That’s not fair.
I think it would be a better conversation to talk about when he smokes (when the children are in bed, etc.) and how when he chooses to smoke during the day and then not help with the children that’s a problem; rather than focusing on if he smokes at all. Couples counseling might help with that conversation.
Tina here are your next steps. First is to STOP CARING about what he does and where people sit in his truck. Just stop. Stop sleeping with him (or if you do use a condom and birth control). Yes to solo counseling, and yes to figuring our your plan to get out of this marriage that makes you cry and feel crazy.
If he’s offered to have them over for dinner you can say that once the pandemic is over that would be a lovely idea.
But just try to STOP CARING. Work on yourself and your sanity and your plan to get out.
@Tina, i’m really interested to hear if there’s been any changes in your husband’s behavior since the pandemic. I understand he and his lady friend are probably essential workers but they can’t be going on “dates” anymore so are they seeing each other less outside of work?
