hfantods
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Is lifestyle compatibility really an issue? So he goes camping occasionally, that’s not too big a problem. But yeah, get to know him better! Exciting to have a crush.
Ale, I’m wishing you all the best. I don’t have any advice to give but thank you for being honest and sharing and u think all this advice is helpful for anyone reading.
Ahhh, Copa, that’s pretty funny! I see one perk of being neighbours is just being a short walk away from home. Reminds me (sort of) of the movie The Big Sick where the guy essentially forced the girl to say she had to take a dump (hence why she was leaving). So it’s not all smooth!
I don’t even think it’s worth assigning him a title of dick bag. He probably just went through his phone contacts. (Was it a really bad or just a meh first date?)
Glad to hear your updated TheLadyE! Did you eat though?? Was it supposer to be a drinks thing or was dinner/apps in the question? How do you find the Match interface?
Totally understand not wanting to eat before a 5k but that made me think of some food podcasts I’ve been listening to. They address the issue of whether you can date someone who eats to live if you live to eat. I’d like to think I could, but I went out on a handful of dates with a guy who was paleo and I felt so self conscious eating in front of him. That’s on me and we stopped seeing each other for other reasons, but it kind of didn’t help?
I’m still seeing the guy and he makes me happy. He also made this delicious Thai soup for dinner and went out of his way to buy lemongrass! I met his family last week and it went ok I think. I don’t want to overthink and I just want to enjoy this. He is away for a couple weeks for work though so it may be good for some self reflection.
That’s so exciting, @kmtthat! Congrats and hope closing goes smoothly 🙂
Darn, sorry to hear that @copa. Seems a little crazy to make that up, but that is disappointing.
Gotcha, @copa. The living situation makes sense. It sounds like you are both feeling it out, and he is being cautious too since you are neighbours. I do think there is some interest like others said. But if you just get a fun crush/new friend then that’s fine!
@Copa, I feel like you want to protect your heart, which is totally justifiable, but I think the rescheduling to a certain date, even Friday, shows he’s interested! And yes it’s possible it’s platonic only but the only to way to find out is to spend that time together.
I’ve been lurking so I will awkwardly say, yay Cleo on the ILY’s! And Hizzy, good luck on finding a dress! And TheLadyE, I can’t believe you bumped into/chatted with HippieArtistGuy. Bullet dodged, seriously.
As for me… I tend to overshare. I’ve been trying to talk to my friends more instead of internet strangers, as much as I love this thread! I am still with the guy. I seriously considered ending it, because I wasn’t sure where I saw it going, but whenever I thought about it, I would cry a lot at the thought of never seeing him again. I do cry easily and it was very stressful at work too, but I didn’t want to be rash. I just felt I couldn’t handle everything. It felt like because I had planted the thought of breaking up in my head, that was all I could think about. But since I’ve eased up on it, letting myself think more/less and enjoy the relationship more, I’m happier. And basically I like spending time with him; he’s sweet, smart and sexy; I just don’t know if he’s the “one”. I know most relationships don’t last and it is my first. It’s likely this one won’t either. But he makes me happy and is understanding of my baggage. I do fear I’m emotionally immature and shouldn’t be in a relationship. And that sounds super dramatic.
I am seriously thinking of seeing a psychologist. Both my parents are in that field and I never seemed that bad but maybe I just need someone to talk to. I’ve been having existential crises on work and life even though on paper I’m doing ok.
Alright that’s my overshare again 😉 really, it’s been great to read about all the relationships at different stages! You can still count me as a non succcess.
Congrats!!!!! Glad you can share it here 🙂
Re hunting, yeah I agree with above. I wouldn’t reschedule my hobbies for a guy I just met, but it seems like a lot if he’s away every weekend for a hobby. He really should make a better effort to reschedule. But if his schedule is easing up, I guess you can continue to see him but keep your options open too.
@copa, yay to good dinner!
So exciting @lucie_la! I try to Kendofy my life now and then. Clothes I can purge. Books are sort of ok but I find her style a little heartless, haha. Once I get to papers though I just stop. Like bank statements from ten years ago. How did you do it!? Sentimental, yes and no. I got rid of a lot of cards, but letters from high school… I don’t look at them until I try and purge so clearly they don’t matter but sigh. I try and keep those things contained in one bag/box though.`
Sorry to hear about BCB (FWIW I thought it stood for Before Christmas Boy) — definitely postponing today? I can see the frustration of the gap between dates. But the four dates seem to indicate there’s interest and perhaps you can “reset” once he gets better. Or let it go.
K, I cringed really hard reading about Match guy date. Especially on a first date!! I guess that’s the thing with online dating where there’s no context and only impressions, it’s harder to give exceptions to weird first date jitters behaviour/easier to walk away if it’s super awkward. Has Match Guy reached out to you since yesterday?
Oh yeah, ITA the question in and of itself isn’t weird or anything, it’s just conversation. In a jokey, light hearted tone, a “so, are you guys dating or something?” would be fun and fine. Maybe this guy just does not have much tonal variety. Just a bro-ey guy. I wasn’t offended either that he wasn’t sure. He also left after a few sentences (“I was just here to get my drink”) so I thought it was a little awkward/rude but hey, it’s a party. Anyway, my boyfriend indicated that the guy isn’t very nice so maybe that altogether formed my judgment. Also, totally cool if you don’t get along with everyone. And sure, answering the question was fine too.
I think I introduced my friends to my current boyfriend about a month in. It felt a tad early, but it just happened that my friend was having a games night so it was a nice opportunity.
I didn’t really tell my friends when I’d be going out on a first date (other than maybe one for safety reasons) or even second or third, mostly because I wouldn’t know how long it’d last. But it’s also been nice to tell/know about the early dates, like one of our friends told us about a nice first date she had and that she was going out on a second date that evening, and they’ve been together for almost two years. I was going to write, maybe she just knew, but she also told us about other guys early on who didn’t work out and that was fine too.
Bahaha, nice! I know — even typing it out, I thought, maybe it wasn’t that bad. We weren’t acting overtly coupley or anything. But it came out in a weird tone, at least I felt like that last night. I can laugh about it now in the morning, but still, more in a he was kind of a jerk way, haha. Well, maybe he was just trying to make conversation and a little awkward!
