Kate
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I met a guy in 1992 who, it turned out, couldn’t function as an adult. In 2002 I went total opposite and met a guy who functioned overly well as an adult but we couldn’t stand each other. In 2012 I met a guy who can function as an adult and we are pretty much the same person. It seems to be working out well. What I have not broken type on though is the tall, big dick thing.
OH! Hahahahahaha!!!!
Oh, I read that it was unwanted attention.
Exactly. Delete and done.
If you’re paying for Match and you use filters, they shouldn’t send you emails regarding people outside your parameters. If you don’t pay for filtering then you get all that crap and have to filter it yourself. But the guy isn’t a jerk for being interested.
Why shouldn’t an older dude be interested in a younger woman? He can dream, right? It’s not like he sent you an unsolicited dick pic.
It does come close to telling people not to post / write 😉
I agree this thread gets overly “you go girl!” at times. I get that it’s safe, supportive place, and it should be, but you know how it’s not a good idea to always listen to your friends and sometimes an outside perspective is valuable? I think it applies. We don’t need pages of people dismissing someone’s perspective because he’s a guy who doesn’t soften his comments with girly fluff and squee.
And to be fair, when I hear meltdown I think emotional breakdown, not a few silent tears on someone’s shoulder. When I have a meltdown it’s a full on freak out. I had one last summer and stopped drinking.
I don’t think anyone said this was going to be a problem if it was a one time thing. A bunch of people correctly pointed out that if it keeps happening (hurt, tears, etc. in response to relationship glitches), that wouldn’t be healthy.
@veritek, I’m not sure to what degree that’s true, but you’ve said on these threads a few times that you just want someone to hug you and tell you it’s ok. Which is a normal feeling, but maybe needs to be resisted during those times when you’ve just got too much going on and need to get it together before actively dating.
We all agree ktfran is fine. Jj did too. The (valid) point is that if stuff *your boyfriend does* upsets you (not work stress or you lost a softball game), and you find that you react by lashing out and breaking down, and this starts happening multiple times, you have a problem on your hands. Again, it’s been said repeatedly here that she’s not at that point yet. But it’s always best to just calmly say how you feel rather than reacting emotionally if, say, you feel uncomfortable about something your newish boyfriend is doing. Again, she’s FINE.
I’ve had some meltdowns. I know what it feels like. I don’t think you probably need to worry here, KTFran. I would just think about whether, if you melt down on a guy rather than just tell him what you’re thinking, are you on as secure footing in the relationship as you should be? In your case I know you have some walls up and maybe the feeling of being vulnerable at all is so uncomfortable that it can lead to emotional overload. You do want to be careful about melting down too much, and maybe work more on trusting that you can come out and say how you’re feeling. Trust HIM I mean, that he can handle it.
