Kate
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Yes, women often make it easy for guys to do that.
In addition to what L said, guys do date women they’re not particularly into, for a variety of reasons… she’s really nice, it’s good to have company / not be alone / be able to say you’re dating someone, regular sex, you don’t have any better options right now, etc.
I know guys who have shittily dated someone for years that they don’t see a future with.
Yeah, I think he likes you, but you don’t know yet if he’s a time-waster who wants validation and companionship but not anything physical. Or just shy. Wait a bit longer, but I’d say something is off if you two aren’t kissing after just a few more dates. If it’s not heading that way, bail.
Right, what I’m saying too is that you wouldn’t know until you tried… but I also think you should not date him if you’ll be working together.
My two cents: I wouldn’t date him / ask him out if you’re working on projects together. Especially because you’re new and aren’t totally a known entity with a reputation yet.
And yes, lifestyle compatibility is important. That doesn’t mean you have to have all the same interests. My husband’s life is a sport that I do not, never could, and he wouldn’t even want me to, do. That’s fine. We don’t have to do all the same activities. But our lifestyles are still totally compatible as far as having plenty of stuff we like to do together, having the same routines and body rhythms, same goals and values. He does all that sport stuff with other people, and I watch him compete in big races.
My dad loves camping and hiking and he does that with guy friends. He and my mom have everything else in common.
But I’m with you that if someone is always doing fast-paced outdoorsy stuff and they like to do it with a partner, that probably doesn’t work for you.
He’s a narcissistic troll.
ETA and of course misogynistic.
Yuuuuuppp.
I’m sorry you are feeling that way, and are you getting treatment for depression?
I really have to strongly push back on your last sentence there though. Being married in no way means you have a partner, let alone a partner for life. A marriage can absolutely be fulfilling and nurturing, but lots of marriages are the opposite. Don’t do your friends a disservice by assuming they’re happy. Everyone is struggling with something.
I think you will have to find a way to accept that you are where you are right now and that it’s actually ok. 32 is so young in the grand scheme of life. You have lots more to learn and do and experience. You are fine, and enough, the way you are. You’ve really got to try to see that, with help if you need it.
Totally agree, and was expecting him to back “hhans” on the Difficult Situation thread.
I think it’s gendered in the sense that he’s a guy who (he feels) has limitations and thus doesn’t get a fair chance from women. I believe that’s why he’s often coming down on women to give guys more of a chance / stand by them.
I think he’s kinda both. He trolls in the sense that he’s trying to get a reaction and get people to engage with him, but I also think he’s somewhat clueless… I think he’s said he doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience. If that’s true, he gets somewhat of a benefit of the doubt, but yeah, his views are pretty skewed in favor of bad guys, and that doesn’t seem to be evolving.
OMG I read that with the Michael-Jackson-Eating-Popcorn gif look on my face. Hans, that was you, right?
