Kate
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Like, what’s going on? What’s the latest with the job offer, tell me about it, etc. Those are the initial questions. From there you could calmly ask if he wasn’t able to call before he took off. Basically find out the latest and take it from there. Before throwing a bomb at him via text.
What Lianne and Wendy are suggesting also fits with an “I’m kinky but my partner isn’t” sort of setup…
If you haven’t already, I would not send him a reactionary inflammatory message. Cool off before talking to him. This COULD all be on the level. On the other hand, yeah… In spite of 4 hours distance and a completely inconsistent schedule, he was eager to be exclusive after a few dates… That’s a bit of a warning sign. And this “omg I suddenly have to fly to the Middle East! No time to talk! Bye!” looks a bit questionable. I personally would chill until you have a chance to talk, stay calm, ask the right questions, figure it out.
I know a few ppl recently who’ve been offered really high paying jobs in the Middle East, seems like it’s getting more common. They haven’t ended up taking them but…
I don’t like that “cold hearted” comment, kinda rubs me the wrong way, not sure why.
If a guy doesn’t text you after a first date, or reply to your thank-you text, he isn’t interested. He’ll probably respond if you text him about a date you talked about (shame) or if you ask him out, but you can always tell that he’s not interested if he isn’t proactively texting you soon after the date. Cue 5 people telling me they went on a date with a guy, never heard from him, got him to agree to a second date, and now they’re married, but I still say if he’s not reaching out, he’s not into you.
Yeah, keep swiping. You can’t remember the second one’s name, and you like the first one because he’s impressed with you and is a biologist. They both sound like a snooze fest.
Also, not replying to your thank you text isn’t “flaky,” it’s a polite way of saying he’s not interested.
I wonder if they’re treating women that way because women put up with it. If no one did, I bet they’d change their tack.
Ok, I see. In your posts there seems to be a strong emphasis on a guy sharing your religious beliefs, but maybe that’s not really the case. I just wanted to make the point that it’s not necessary for a good relationship but it seems like you get that?
I don’t understand the religion thing. I am probably an even more minority religion (like way more minority, since you seem able to meet guys of your faith) AND it’s a central part of my beliefs, and I’ve had the best relationships with guys who believe in God but aren’t part of an organized religion. They respect and don’t judge my beliefs. I want to challenge what makes you so sure you can only have a relationship with a guy of your faith. These socially awkward Christian men who won’t kiss you aren’t working. How about a spiritual guy who’s not awkward or a nerd and wants to make out? They are not too hard to find. If a guy hasn’t tried to kiss you by date 3, he’s not attracted to you. If the dates are hours long, then I’d say by date 1 or 2. He’s not attracted, and a relationship won’t happen even if you build a friendship first.
I think if you don’t send at least that obligatory thank you text, guys are going to assume you’re not interested.
Oh, gotcha, ugh, I hate that situation. It’s not a great sign if you haven’t heard from him since your last date… When was that? If you don’t hear from him today you could reach out and be like, hey, we still on for Friday? Maybe he’s not a big planner, or maybe he was just kind of blowing smoke.
But, that said, I wouldn’t expect a lot of texting after a first date. If there’s not a second date set pretty quickly, what’s the point to keep communicating?
