Kate
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You keep trying to tell us that everything is fine and aboveboard. So why are you so upset that it’s making you sick then? Why have you written in here countless times, and you’re still doing so even though everything has gotten so much better?
Because it’s not okay! The whole situation is super fucked up and you know it.
It’s so past the point of “am I in the right” and “is this reasonable.” The answer to those are yes, and no, respectively, but it doesn’t matter because he ALREADY TOLD YOU you can leave and get a divorce if you don’t like it. Nothing you say to him is going to change his behavior.
And finally, I don’t really believe he’s always around other people with her, do you? That story about always hanging with the neighbors sounds like straight bullshit. To be clear, I think it’s bullshit you’re feeding us. I think a lot of what you say on these threads is lies to make the situation look better.
He already told you to leave if you don’t like it. Which means that dating this woman is more important to him than your marriage. That’s what you need to know. He’s happy to have you stick around and be a doormat of a wife, on HIS terms. That’s it. He’s not going to change any of this behavior that’s hurting you.
You can have a marriage on his terms that makes you miserable and sick, or you can leave and build a life. Maybe find love, have kids. Those are your options.
At this point we ARE constantly together, because there’s a pandemic.
Correct, no grown married man has a friend they go out with multiple times a week and now pushing for all day Fridays as well. That’s not ok or normal by any stretch.
And Tina, this does NOT sound like they only hang out in a group:
“ So far he has been getting together with her every weekend (again either as a group or they go for lunch/brunch/happy hour). This weekend they are getting together two days in a row. It’s just a lot.. I saw one of his text messages (he is open about that) and he told her she should try and get Fridays off work so they can make Fridays their “hang out day”. It’s just like he can’t get enough of seeing her…”
You’re either lying to us or he’s lying to you, because no way do they go out every weekend, sometimes twice, always with a group. No way. And trying to make Friday “their day?” The hell?
Yeah, but what you didn’t include when you were trying to get advice from “new” people, is that he’s had sexual relationships with at least two other women in the past, doesn’t want kids, and is an asshole. If you want real advice, you need to give the real picture.
Well it’s also because he’s an asshole who doesn’t respect you, he’s treating you like crap, and he’s dating this woman in defiance of your wants, needs, and happiness.
Girl. You’re still stuck at why this bothers you? After all these months you’re really right where you started?
I got a pedicure. They had me sanitize my hands, took my temperature, sign a form, and they had clear plastic dividers hanging from the ceiling separating each chair from the one next to it and from the front. No one was seated next to each other either. They charge $2 more now, for cleanup.
We’ve also been eating at a Mexican restaurant with outdoor tables and excellent cheap margaritas.
I’m definitely not ready to eat indoors or be less than 6 feet from anyone, and I’m glad masks are mandatory.
Also so happy to have pretty feet again. I was doing my own but it wasn’t great.
Where I live, they’re mandatory at all times even outdoors. And Massachusetts is now the state that’s in the best shape out of all 50, so go figure. But in other parts of the US hardly anyone wears them. And 30 states are now increasing in cases.
I was skeptical at first whether they work, but now the research is saying they do. The key is they protect YOU from me, because I might be sick and not know it.
I wish people would just follow the damn guidelines. They work!
The governors of northeastern states are all over the news today saying don’t come here unless you get a test and/or quarantine for 14 days. Not “show up and go sailing for a week at the club!”
