anonymousse
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So, your soulmate didn’t speak to your brother or sister when he went to expressly meet them, in the hopes of getting your family’s permission to ask for your engagement? In which case, he messed up, big time. That’s not really your responsibility. You have one chance for a good first impression. He’s a grown adult man, and I guarantee he knows that. He could have postponed or canceled if he was so devastated by work news. All that’s beyond the point, though.
I agree that you should talk to your family. How much time did you really spend with him in person? I would hesitate to get engaged to move to another country to be with him. That’s a lot. You’re so young. It’s incredibly risky in the best of circumstances.
Your family might be on to something? I know that’s hard to hear but when people love and want the best for you sometimes they have dramatic reactions like this when they feel something isn’t right.
So glad you’re feeling better, LadyE.
Congrats Ange!
Really cute dress!
That’s awesome, Ktfran. My S&BIL went there a few years ago and their pictures are amazing. They are the dual income, no kid travelers I get jealous of.
I’ve been layering sunscreen and I still have a little tube of glowscreen that I sometimes put on top.
Maybe I’ve said this before and I’m just so sorry if I am repeating myself, but a friend gave me a sun bum gift set last summer and it turns out, I love their sunscreen. Usually, I need to reapply very frequently but I found I could stretch it a little or it was more waterproof at the beach and pool. I could wear SPF 30 at the beach and feel protected as a lifelong pale.
I also got the L’Oréal self tanning drops, which I think Kate mentioned before? I threw away all my self tanners last year which was just silly. I’m really, really pale so I like products that I can build color up really gradually.
I will reflect on my behavior, contributions and worth on this site. I’m ashamed of myself, quite frankly. How dare I.
LOL okay, Di. I think your entire comment is unnecessary and unhelpful. You didn’t appreciate my feedback, so don’t tell me you did. And why write anything, then? Just don’t respond.
I brought up growing up in a rural area because you said you’re in a small town. I grew up in a small town. Can you see the correlation? I was trying to offer advice, as a mother and a person who has had to make new friends a lot, because I’ve moved a lot.
I’m so sorry my advice didn’t meet your expectations.
Thanks for the tips!
Enjoy your baby and husband.
She said it’s too much for her. Period. You can argue that until the end of days, but it’s still what she told you, and it’s a reasonable boundary. You need to stop with that argument, even in your mind. There’s been a pandemic, and you have no idea what could be going on that she isn’t sharing. Or it could be nothing and she just doesn’t have that social energy to give you.
Times have changed. People have changed. She lost her father and is giving her mom a lot of support and can’t give you all of what you need right now. You need more social outlets. Adjust your schedule maybe, and sleep with your husband for a few hours before getting up at midnight. You’re a grown adult woman and you can find things to occupy your time with other than this one friend who told you it was too much for her. I grew up in a rural area and know how hard it is to make friends in sparse areas but there are groups for new mothers or meetup groups and social media. That is on you to work on, in your spare time.
I truly do wish you well. The one constant in life is change. Just meet your friend when she can do it, and look for more outlets. Hobbies? Side hustle? Good luck.
Congratulations on achieving your goal. I’m truly happy you got what you wanted.
I don’t care about the sex, I’m curious how you went from never talking him to riding him like a bronco.
Seriously, that is enough socializing for me in a week with one friend! You’re putting a lot of pressure on this friendship. I agree that making some new friends is very important right now, but you don’t need to give her a hard time, cut her out of your life or anything just because she can only handle so much social interaction at a time.
I’m an introvert, I have two kids which eats enough into my socializing energy, and if a friend was like “you need to socialize with me more or we can’t be friends,” I would probably have to say goodbye because I literally don’t have more to give certain people right now. I am an easy person to talk to and people gravitate towards me. I had to build boundaries and stop saying yes to everything for my own energy and happiness.
Be more compassionate and more understanding. Your husband, why is he asleep at 8 or leaving you all alone at night? Make some mommy friends with babies around a similar age as yours. We’ve all had a tough few years (some tougher than others, even if they aren’t sharing even with their close friends about it) and meeting people where they are, with gratitude for what they can offer you is a great way to look at it. I used to get upset with my expectations in friendships. Now I meet what I get from the loved ones in my life with gratefulness and try to push those thoughts of “they should have! I would have done it this way!” No, everyone’s different. Be happy to have a friend nearby and expect less from her. If you get all mad at her all you are doing is ending a friendship and creating drama and maybe hurting your husband’s friendship, too.
So, please try to temper the feelings of what you expect her to do and accept what she can do. It’s nice having friends you trust nearby.
