anonymousse
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Isn’t Alpha synonymous with self absorbed, sexist jerk?
No one wants to date a stuck up woman who stereotypes everyone she sees and thinks she’s better than everyone else. Everyone bores you. People who have lifelong friendships which take time and care to maintain (like actual relationships do) but that’s so limiting to you.
If you think people are disposable, are you surprised that this is the type of man you attract?
Obviously, you need to do some deeper introspection. If you were a catch, you’d be able to have a relationship with a man of your choosing. Or at least a second date.
Since you believe you are a catch on paper, it must be your attitude. Something about who you are, in person that even puts these lotharios off.
Make sure you get all your important paperwork and things out before she knows or finds out. So, move that out quietly first. She’s controlling and abusive and you never know what level someone will stoop to.
Good luck.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting casual sex relationships. That isn’t equivalent to or related to rape or assault. There’s nothing in her comments that show these men are pressuring her for sex, being coercive or violent. Literally nothing she writes has anything like that in it, at all.
These men (Although misogynistic and disrespectful) are at least being pretty good about making it clear they want casual hookups and not a relationship.
It’s a huge stretch and so wrong to tell her she’s lucky she hasn’t been raped! That’s taking it to an extreme level.
Hey Ron, I never said she was intimidating.
I told her these types of men were looking for sex, and not a relationship.Perhaps I wasn’t clear, but my question “Are you intimidating?” Had more to do with her quest for a partner, and not meeting anyone eligible, not these macho men she is currently seeing. I never said she was, I asked her if she is.
She made you quit AFTER she found out about your bf? How did she force you to quit your job?
I agree you should try and get your job back, or a new job and stay with someone else.
Trying to understand the motivation she has in being abusive and controlling to you is a lesson in futility. There is no just cause for that behavior. No attempt at looking at it from her POV is helpful to you. No caring or loving father, sister or person would treat you that way. You’re an adult now, it’s time to exercise your independence and leave.
When guys speak badly about their exes, or feminists, it’s a sign that they don’t respect women, even “feminine” ones like you. That should be your clue to move on.
The next step for jerks like that is a hookup. That’s why they aren’t calling. If you aren’t going to go to bed with them immediately, they aren’t interested. The guys you are choosing to date want easy sex.
I mean, you’re lucky in a way that they aren’t pursuing you further. That’s most likely not going to lead to anything other than a hookup.
It sounds like the problem is with you, in some way. I don’t know how you’re meeting these guys, but if they’re a pattern, you need to take a step back and do some deeper examining of what you are doing.
Why go on dates with guys like this? If they talk badly about other women, compliment you insincerely and don’t want to invest in you before sex…you aren’t missing out. Those are all red flags.
Are you intimidating?
Have you asked your close friends for feedback?
Why are you writing into an advice forum wondering about why he doesn’t call? Would you want him to?
He didn’t call because he likes fun booty calls.
Great, thanks Kate.
How’s the fit for the Leigh dress? It looks so perfect for pretty much every situation. I like the higher neckline, too.
Why does it matter that she is, in your eyes, friendless, Skyblossom?
Most of her adult friends probably have kids also, so it’s not really convenient to watch her child for a night. Preschools in my area just got out for the summer. A lot of families are going on vacation in my neighborhood. Maybe no one is around, or is busy with their own families. There’s also a difference between being casual friends and wanting someone to stay over at your house/potentially sleep in your bed.
And she works nights.
All of that is to say, you don’t know her situation, so why are you so set on judging her?
I guess I just don’t really understand why you are commenting so much about how friendless, non nurturing the mother in this scenario is. She asked her sister to watch her son for one night, and LW agreed. Whether she asked everyone she knew or she didn’t doesn’t really have anything to do with this at this point, and I’m really not understanding your speculations about her personal life and how they figure into this at all.
Where on earth did you get all of that from? The LW never said she isn’t compensated, or that her sister never does anything in return. Also, I doubt she has all the insight into exactly who her sister asked for help before her. Most parents would ask for help from people they know actually like their children/and that their children know, before they ask the most unwillingly aunt. She has regular sitters. She had never asked her for an overnight, and she’s babysat a handful of times in two years. Does that sound like a person taking advantage and feeling entitled to family help?
And all the judgement about them not having enough friends, WTF? She works nights! She does have friends-the LW wrote that they just hosted a party. This isn’t about her friends or lack of friends. The LW said she’d watch her nephew (who, lets be honest-will probably be asleep most, of not all night) and that should be the end of it. She said she’d do it, so she should, and she should use this experience as a lesson in how to actually say no next time.
