I don’t recall the thread that Robert quoted me on, not going to try and find it. But yes, sometimes I do have a few people with whom I sort through. I especially noted this because I primarily use apps and so there is limited space on the profiles to understand the person in comparison to websites, so yes there tends to be an ‘interview’ like process. Good profiles give me more info, some I put more work in to learn about them. It is totally normal to feel people out online or on the app making sure there is some common ground, of course I want to know if I have some common interests and values, and our dealbreakers align before meeting in person.

Dating is not always logical, there are biological, chemistry and emotional responses that come with it. As such, these additional components can be very difficult to understand and relate to when you don’t think the same way or have the natural instincts others may have. You have tried to analyze and approach dating with a logical computer like approach, which I get if that is how you think and are wired, but if you can’t even fathom or try to understand the biological etc component of dating, then you have made it harder on yourself. Either build the tools to understand (through therapy), listen to the broader advice here, or get off dating. Because you haven’t been receptive to the bigger picture issues, it prevent you from breaking out of this dating slump.

So I’ve said this before, but not really worried about repeating myself in this thread: My brother has special needs. He does not live independently. However, he does work. The only type of work that he can or will reliably do, is driving his car to deliver things as a courier. He has a terrible driving record so he can’t have jobs that use a company vehicle. My dad manages his finances. He got my brother an LLC. Technically my brother is a business owner. But *you cannot make money driving your own vehicle for delivery*. It does not cover your costs. It would be cheaper for my dad if my brother didn’t work. Seriously. It doesn’t cover rent, insurance, gas, food, clothing, utilities, car repairs, etc.

During the pandemic my brother actually did better, not working much and receiving stimulus and weekly payments. THAT actually put him in a pretty good place financially.

But yeah, for those who are saying “not a business,” I agree, and there’s going to be a real disconnect for women who hear that claim.

Back in HS/early college, a guy I worked with at a retail job started bragging about his “new business.” How, if only another friend of mine and I were older, he’d consider bringing us in too. How it was such a prestigious thing that was going to be his ticket.

Kept pushing for information.

It was fucking Amway!

Yeah, if a 45+ year old guy presented himself as a “business owner” or even as self-employed, but then I found out on a first date that he actually drove for Amazon and Uber Eats but didn’t have enough money in the bank for car repairs, I would run far and fast. That’s deceptive and a big red flag all by itself, even without the social ineptitude factor.

I’m proud to be a cog in the machine by working for a company that provides support services to NIH researchers. I keep my lab running like clockwork so that my colleagues can concentrate on their experiments. I also get paid well to do it, have good benefits and plenty saved for retirement. Not every 9-5 worker is toiling in a soulless office, mindlessly pushing papers for the Evil Empire, LLC. (Not to mention, who do you think is getting rich on the back of your delivery service? Hint: not you! There’s still someone at the top that is reaping the benefits.)

Someone said that nothing is fool proof because fools are so ingenious. I think that there’s something similar for aggravating behavior. The most truly aggravating behavior can’t be faked.

I think Robert’s job is the least of his worries.

I’m generally someone who believes there’s a lid for every pot, but Robert, you gotta some inner work if you want to have a shot at finding a relationship. It’s been two years and nothing has changed except your pants.