Hello all from Robert
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Haha. I (sincerely and non-mockingly) love how dated your good looking man example is. I don’t really know anyone who became famous after 1997.
I mean, I think in his NEW profile pics he looks like a nice, tall, pleasant guy. But then he meets people in person and something’s way off. You have to be a stunner for someone to stick around when the vibe is that off, and Robert’s not that hot bad boy. But he seems to look fine when he pulls himself together. The big caveat being *when he pulls himself together*. The outfits and poses in the old photos were problematic. Please don’t look like that when you show up, Robert.
I just had to. I am getting older (38 in about a week!) but I am hip to some current media and celebrity stuff.
I know that sexy hairy pose of his and figured it was an apropos “attractive man” to compare Robert to, considering his outdated ideas about so many things.
I agree with Ron. I was really struck by your explanation of her “lack of ambition” and how it showed almost the opposite of what you claimed about her.
She was debt free and well balanced in her work life, and tolerant of your money problems and quirks, but that was just not “good enough”…. The “she
played the victim” line from you,just kills me!Yeah, please don’t be showing up to dates in your comfortable teal or red dress shirt like a ‘90s Atlantic City magician.
Seriously, imagine the stuff that lady probably put up with and he had the balls to dump her for not caring about money enough. Ha!
@Anonymousse, happy birthday. I remember when I turned 38. We were all excited for Eisenower’s presidential run.
A lot has already been said, but I do have a soft spot for Robert for being a trooper and talking through all these things with us. There’s a LOT that’s problematic and we can all see the reasons why he’s struggling, but he keeps coming back trying to understand, and there’s something to be said for that.
However, we are not therapists, so there’s that too.
Speaking of which, I’ve been in therapy for more than 4 years. I can’t recommend it highly enough. I believe it will take quite some time to work through some of these issues, and that’s not to say Robert can’t start a relationship in parallel to working on those, but this isn’t something that will be solved in just a few sessions. However, the work is so valuable and the outcome will be life-changing.
I have dated several guys who didn’t want to be physical for weeks/months. There were deep-seated issues with all of them. Mental illness, fear of intimacy or commitment, etc etc. It was all incredibly hurtful. At this point, if a man is not interested in kissing me by the 3rd date, I assume he is not interested romantically. (And I think I’m generous!) My last two exes kissed me on the first or second date. And so, I do think it’s best if you put even one line in your profile, maybe that you want to move slowly physically or something along those lines. That will actually also attract women who are similar to you, so win win.
Robert has been a “trooper”. He needs one on one therapy, instead of just our opinions and advice. However therapy requires intense introspection and hard work, to shift behavior and perceptions. I can’t help but wonder if Robert would push back and or disregard a therapist’s advice, as he has mainly done here.
LadyE has a great point. If you don’t talk about why you’re doing something (or not doing something in this case) then women are going to assume the worst. If you’re genuinely just waiting for a deeper connection before you get physical it’s worth being upfront about that early on.
I’m torn about putting that in the profile. It might be better to bring it up after the first date, assuming they see each other again and there’s any connection. It could look like a red flag in a profile, I don’t know. But in any case, it can’t be why he’s not getting second dates. He’s not getting second dates because he’s actively turning women off and is straight up not a good time.
