How To Negotiate Successfully
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Maybe when your bf mentioned he didn’t want to partake in raising your son, he really was trying to tell your your parenting approach is terrible. Though honestly he doesn’t get a pass, unless he is in someway trying to help your son from your terribleness.
Somehow, I very much doubt that Mr. Wonderful has purely the son’s best interests at heart. Far from it.
Not the son’s best interest at heart, but not likely wanting the legal repercussions that LW’s parenting style may lead to.
The way I read her previous comment on her ‘dating down,’ was the double standard applied to her. Where her ex fiancee can date someone who is presumably ‘less’ than him, but she can’t. She is expected to date equal or greater then her current status, and be happy with that, and or be happy being single. Just a food for thought on the interpretation here.
Otherwise, her responses lack acknowledgement of the situation and circumstances. SHe has dug her own hole by saying she is ‘okay’ dating a man that isn’t willing to marry her (nothing wrong with common law but obviously the previous engagement was meant to be a testament to your commitment, maybe that has changed since), and refuses to put up with her son. If you can’t see the glaring red flags I don’t know what else there is to say. You seem to have little emotional attachment to your son based on your responses and obvious countdown to when your sons eventual dismissal out of the house.
I suggest reevaluating your outlook on your own life and the life that you are providing your child and think REALLY hard weather it is truly mentally, physically and emotionally stable and healthy for him, and yourself. It seems there are bigger fish to fry.
No, I understand the interpretation of her comment, but I’m telling you she is not a nuclear scientist.
I’m not even sure I buy that the boyfriend actually refused to marry her solely because of the son. I mean, every other aspect of what she’s telling us has been proven to be warped; why wouldn’t that be as well?
Kate if you think she’s in the medical profession, she’s probably an x-ray tech…..a nuclear scientist-related job. lol.
LW, try treating you son with compassion. And therapy, therapy, therapy. Because I”m sure the way you treat your son has left him with major issues about the way he view himself, the world, and healthy relationships
“She’s not. I think she tipped us off earlier that she’s in the medical profession, though not a doctor or nurse.”
There are a lot of people who have nuclear science backgrounds who develop and implement radiation treatment plans (e. g., “Medical physicists” ). It’s a reasonably in demand field. Such a person might describe themselves as a” Nuclear scientist”)
Is the ‘dating down’ stigma really that strong, or is this in LW’s head. I don’t think there are many states left which acknowledge common law marriage, and even if LW is living in such a state, her ‘bf’ is not holding himself out to be married; they don’t even appear together in public.
Fyodor’s explanation for nuclear scientist sounds right.
I don’t fully get the subtext, Kate. Are you saying that to be dating down, she’d have to be dating a street person?
We trust….I’m just taking it like a guessing game at this point, Kate. Not that we are doubting you, but rather are curious and trying to guess with the (more limited) information we have.
