How To Negotiate Successfully
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You are the worst.
Newsflash: he’s doing poorly under your “care.” So your methods, the abuse you grew up with- aren’t helping him.
If you don’t want your son eating junk food, don’t keep it in the house.
Nothing you’ve said makes screaming at him morning and night even seem slightly understandable.
I highly, highly doubt you are a scientist. You honestly sound like a psychopath. Get help. Please.
WOW! Absolute worst. 1. I’m not sure why you wanted a child in the first place. You obviously hate being a parent. 2. You’ve mentioned that you’re a scientist in several replies. Who the fuck cares? Being a scientist does not make you a good parent. Not sure what you’re trying to prove? 3. Your disabled son is doing poorly because you’re a shitty parent. It doesn’t take a fucking scientist to figure that out. It takes a human, which you’re clearly not.
There is a huge difference between having some junk food and eating nothing but junk food. The only reason you buy junk food is to eat it and if it is good enough for you to eat it then it should be good enough for him to eat it. I bought junk food knowing my kids would eat it. The rule was that they could have one junk food per day. It was their choice what junk they ate and when they ate it. I held myself to the same rules. If you expect your son to follow stricter rules than you have for yourself when it comes to junk food of course he won’t respect you. You don’t practice what you preach.
My son loves technology. He loves it so much he went to college and got a degree in technology and now he has a job working with technology. It isn’t crippling to learn all about technology. If he is using it to avoid life then it is a problem. If it is an accessory to his life, like I am assuming it is to yours, then it isn’t a problem. My son is totally self-sufficient. He has his own place and pays his own bills. We see him about once a week.
Your son will become mature and responsible if you allow him some freedom to make mistakes but hold him accountable for his actions. He will do much better if you model what you want rather than giving yourself lesser rules and screaming at him. What you are teaching him is that once he’s an adult he doesn’t need to have self-discipline, that’s just for kids.
If what you’re doing isn’t working then try something else. I’m saying that as one science person to another. It’s like you are running the same experiment over and over and you keep getting the same result and instead of trying something different you scream and count down the years until the experiment is over. Do you expect that what you are doing will suddenly work when so far it’s been a failure? You’re too smart to believe that. You’re too smart for that. You keep getting the same result. Try a different input. Try a different model. Maybe talk to a therapist to get some suggestions.
If your son is actually handicapped then why plan to throw him away? Why not get him the services he needs now?
Between letters like this and Trump’s ghady burgerama dinner at the Blight House… It’s a miracle I don’t simply drive to Big 5, buy a gun, then patiently listen to Madonna until the waiting period is over and just blow my brains right out.
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@Kate That sounds right. I have no sense of an analytic mind here. No sense of someone evaluating and reevaluating what they are doing what results they are getting and then modifying what they are doing. I also have no sense of the LW researching her situation to look for clues and answers and ideas. No self-analysis about results and what to do next.
Nothing. No scientific approach. No scientific mind.
For those who argue in another current thread that being a parent teaches empathy and that non-parents naturally have no empathy and can have no useful opinion on parenting: this woman is exhibit 1 for the opposing view. The “I was threatened with beatings/death as a child, and probably was beaten, so this is the parenting style I was taught and should employ” argument obviously sucks. Is it any wonder bf doesn’t want to be legally tied to this woman and her brand of child abuse? I doubt that she is a nuclear scientist, and there is a fairly limited number of geographic areas where nuclear scientist work, so perhaps Kate can definitively figure this one out. There certainly are a goodly number of emotionally illiterate scientists and engineers, so all the crap this woman has written doesn’t necessarily rule her out, by she also doesn’t write in either a style or convey thoughts which are at all indicative of even average intelligence. Mental illness, certainly. Poor decision making, definitely, the necessary intelligence and stability and logical thinking needed to be a nuclear scientist, almost certainly not.
She’s not. I think she tipped us off earlier that she’s in the medical profession, though not a doctor or nurse.
