Yes, I will forever be imagining that kind of lawn care. Oh my god the visual.

Shemp, you come across as an edge lord desperate to prove your wife should screw you more than once a week- which is not bad after 18 years with your misogynistic ass, you should be thanking the lord she still wants it once a week. Nothing you’ve said makes me think you understand, respect, love your wife or women as a whole, and that’s why they don’t want to have sex with you. We aren’t mommies and slot machines ready at your whim. If you want help with your wife, it would probably be best if you didn’t criticize her wants and needs and call your lovemaking the economic transaction that holds your relationship together that only she controls…you are telling us you feel powerless because your wife holds all the keys. If that’s true, it makes sense that you’d be more respectful to your wife. Be nice to your wife, it’s seriously that easy. I don’t know why after 18 years that is an issue for you.

Did I read that right? WTF is duty sex?
Dear God, I pity any woman sharing your bed.