I’m in Duluth actually. Would love a meet up tho!

Sarah B, I also get depressed and tangled up in thoughts of what can happen. Because it’s true, the world is full of possibilities we can’t predict and a lot we hope for, or fear, but can’t control. The best thing that works for me when I get stuck in thinking too much about *one* thing that could happen is to try to replace it in my head with a different possibility.
Anything could happen: You can see your boss at work and continue to have a crush on him. It makes your shift go by quicker, but you don’t make a move, because you’ve decided not to. Instead, on your dating site, you meet a guy who is super hot, single, and has a fun personality. You go out on a date. You hit it off. You go on more dates. He’s really fun and awesome. At work maybe you stop thinking about your manager so much because you’re excited to see this cool guy you’ve been talking to who sees the smart, amazing woman that you are. You learn as much as you can from working at Golden Corral and impress your manager with your professionalism. Your next job is at a slightly nicer restaurant with better tips. You keep getting good grades in school while working and hanging out with this awesome guy.

That could happen. Anything could happen. I know how hard it is, because I get stressed and depressed too, and can’t get my mind off things, but try to spend more time hoping for a different ‘anything could happen’. Any number of wonderful things can happen for you. You can keep crushing on your manager if its fun, just don’t forget how big the world is and how many other, better things can also happen. And don’t let anyone make you feel bad for where you work. You are young—most people I know when in their early 20s have waited tables, and crushed on their bosses, and dreamed about things that were unlikely to happen—-but what really did happen for them in the years to follow were both different and better than what they had dreamed of back then.

And Sarah B I know it’s hard with chronic depression, but don’t forget to show some love to yourself. Take time after a long shift to do something nice for yourself, like paint your nails, take a bath, write in a journal, eat something delicious. You might feel like the world is against you sometimes, but depression makes the world look like a worse and more uncaring place than it really is. It may not be this manager, but someone hot and fun and nice will cross your path at some point. And all the love you show to yourself now will build you up to be able to grab that moment with confidence when it comes, and to know it’s right, and to be able to whole-heartedly embrace that crush.

Yes. Even if you do give up on this manager crush, which will probably be a relief for you, even if it is tough at first, don’t give up on yourself. You have something to offer, so just keep nourishing and polishing that something until the guy comes along who will see it and value it.

Well I hope all the not-sleepers on here (like me) get some sleep, and all the pipes come back to life (mine have been frozen for days) and everyone with a painful crush gets some rest and sees tomorrow as a new day, with a new possibility for good things. Good things have happened for me, even after a lot of pain and dark thoughts, so I believe they will happen for you to, because anything can happen. Be kind to yourself, and trust that depression is not the only story of your life.