Have your other son take a DNA test.

He wants to take one but the mother keeps dragging her feet. She keeps trying to convince him that there’s no way he’s the father. I’ve told him to let the proper authorities handle this and take her to court, but since he has a criminal record, he won’t do it.

I not say they are the result of incest. They may be closer related than you think. Could be someone married a half sister/brother without knowing, or a cousin back a generation or two. If your son will not follow through I think you are out of luck. Either way she is you granddaughter.

I don’t understand what they mean by 99% relatedness. If your son who was tested is the father, then the child’s DNA should be a 50% match to that son’s DNA. That should be a definitive answer in and of itself. However, if that son is an uncle, rather than a father, then the DNA match should be only 25%, as your sons are only a 50% DNA match, having received half of their genes from you and half from your husband. Really no need to test second son.

I guess I’m wondering why the concern about resolving this on your part. What is the relationship between your other son, whom you think is not the father, and the mother of this child? If they are in an active relationship and consider this other son B to be the father, then letting that presumption remain seems the best situation for everyone: the child has an active father, the father and mother are in a relationship and son A doesn’t need to pay child support to a woman he’s not in a relationship with and the two brothers aren’t at each other’s throats. Why does it matter to you which of your sons is the father? It sounds like fairly malicious meddling to me. So you think the child looks more like son B than son A? There should be a familial resemblance to both of your sons (I am assuming your 2 sons have the same father, which may not be correct and which would decrease, but not eliminate, the family resemblance of the son, who is not the father, to this grandchild.

What troubles is this causing in your son’s life? Does he want to be the official father, with formal visitation rights and child support obligations? Why does he want a paternity test? It sounds like he has already taken a paternity test, otherwise how do you know he’s an uncle? The same test for uncle or father is used in either case. This really doesn’t add up. And what does son B have to say about all of this? What route does he want to take?

I don’t see how this is a question of son A refusing to man up and pay child support. The mother could press him for child support and go to court if that is what she wanted. She says he’s not the father. That may be true. Either way, she clearly wants nothing to do with this guy and doesn’t want him in her child’s live. It’s not a question of shirking, it’s a question of how hard to push himself into a situation where he’s obviously not wanted. If the mother says son B is the father, he very well may be.

Again, the DNA test has been done already. Perhaps the company requires an extra payment to say whether son A is uncle or father, but they already know. A paternity test will provide exactly the same information as the avuncular test. It is somewhat more certain if the mother also submits DNA.

Why did he do an avuncular DNA test if he thought he was likely the father? This test is usually done to establish paternity when the suspected father’s DNA is not available.

Again, what is son B’s position on all of this and what is his current connection to this child’s mother.

This avuncular DNA test seems strange. The mother must have cooperated. It sounds like she wanted to prove that son B was the father. Why?

Ron- An Avuncular test is quite different from a paternity test. It will only test for an uncle relationship. My son had withheld the fact that he had been intimate with the mother when he agreed to take this type of test. He just recently confessed that there is a chance of him being the father. Needless to say, my mind is blown! There have been others in my family that also believe that he is the father since the results came back with a 99 percent relatedness. I have contacted the company that did the test and they told me that it’s not unusual for a 99 percent reading and that it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s the father, but since he has admitted to sleeping with her, everything has changed. I didn’t want to go into detail about my other son but I will go ahead and tell you that he passed away several years ago. It’s a touchy subject that I really don’t want to discuss. This is why it’s so important to know who is really my granddaughter’s father. My (living) son has still got a lot of growing up to do considering that he has been involved with drugs, crime, etc. BUT he is trying to change and become a better man. Deep down, I feel like he is afraid to pay child support and this is why he kept quiet. He confessed to me and told me how much this troubles him because he needs to know if this is really his daughter. I want to help him and this is why I suggested that a paternity test needs to be done on him but the mother keeps telling him NO! I’m frustrated! The Avuncular test came back with my son and his ”niece” with a combined relatedness of over 1,000. All signs point to him really being the father.