Dear Wendy
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Ooh, exciting, MG! Congrats! Keep us posted.
You don’t have to do any of that stuff. I personally find most of it ridiculous. Pre-wedding photos? Engagement photos? Why? I didn’t have any of that. No bridal shower. No wedding party. And I’m in less married than anyone who did have that stuff. Why do you think you have to do any of that? Is someone telling you you do? They’re wrong!
Woah, yeah, that’s kind of nuts. Crying yourself to sleep over a guy you’ve been dating for two weeks because he says he’s going to break up with you in eight months when he introduces you to his parents and they tell him they don’t approve? How do you hear that and not MOA right outta that situation?
OMG, a shut-in weekend to not deal with anyone and to binge-watch favorite shows and wear loungewear and read books and take naps sounds AWESOME. Don’t feel the least bit guilty about that. I had three hours to myself yesterday (when drew took the kids to a birthday party for his friend’s daughter) and it was divine having that time. I wished it could have been a whole weekend!
One day, your life may not be completely your own. You may have a partner and maybe even kids and will have to work around obligations to them and to your in-laws and you will long for the days you had a couple of hours to yourself, let alone a whole weekend to recharge and take care of your own needs. Try to cherish it while you have it. It’s not like you’re doing in every weekend. I’d say even once a season, having a weekend all to yourself sounds healthy and great.
Good luck! Don’t forget my suggestion about getting a haircut with updating your photos! I really do think you could be someone’s dream girl. I hope you find your match!
Here you go:
“I’m a big sports fan (college and NFL football, the Florida Gators and the Seattle Seahawks) who loves playing video games, studying history (especially Tudor-era England), and cooking (I’m searching for the ultimate steak recipe. Do you have one you recommend?).
I’m very proud that I’m going back to school, pursuing a degree in Interactive Media and writing for my campus newspaper (I love writing and dream of writing a YA novel one day). I’d love to meet someone who enjoys watching sports, going out to dinner (I’m always up for pasta, Mexican, or a great steakhouse), and playing video games. And a secret wish of mine to is to go skydiving some day, but I don’t want to do it alone, so bonus if you’re someone who might want to join me and help me cross that off my bucket list. Other items on my bucket list: travel to England and France and visit all of the historical sites that I see in TV shows and documentaries; cook with my favorite chef, Chef John of the Food Wishes blog; and visit every state in the US (I’ve been to eight so far, plus DC). What’s on your bucket list?”
What I’m doing with my life
Working full-time, going to school, and watching the game.I’m really good at
Cooking! I also have a really good memory when it comes to movie quotes. [LIST A FAVORITE QUOTE HERE).Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My all time favorite show is The Tudors. I’ve seen every episode multiple times. I ALSO like: GoT; Walking Dead; and Breaking Bad.Three movies I would want if I was on a desert island: Deadpool; Goodfellas; The Women.
My two favorite musical genres are rock and metal.
Mac and cheese has been my favorite food but I think it’s about to be supplanted by carnitas tacos. [Why? Is there a place that has especially good carnitas tacos that you’ve just discovered? Do you make good carnitas tacos?]
Six things I could never do without
1. Coffee.
2. My glasses.
3. My cat.
4. Phone/laptop.
5. Books.
6. Lip balm.On a typical Friday night I am
Searching for the best carnitas tacos and watching the Gators.You should message me if
You’re looking for someone who doesn’t just tolerate sports and video games, but loves them. If you have a good steak recipe you’re willing to share. If you, too, are looking for a skydiving partner.”
I didn’t mention it in my private replies to you, but I agree with Kate about the comments on writing a book and looking for material or how everything is food for your imagination. I’d limit the whole writing a book thing to one comment. “I’m an aspiring writer,” or “A dream of mine is to write a book one day” is enough (and a detail about what kind of book would be helpful). I’d also not mention the nephew. Literally, no guy reading your profile is going to care that you have a nephew you like to talk to and play games with.
Ok, I’ve responded privately to bluegreen. I sent her my questionnaire (from which I can edit a new profile) and I made some comments about the photos I was able to see. Hopefully my advice will be taken with the good nature it’s intended.
Off the bat though, you say “just” too much – in your profile and in your communication here. It comes off as almost apologetic or like you’re downplaying your value. “This is just a start…” “I’m just this” “I just do that…” It’s a little thing, but it sends a message. I’d cut “just” out of your writing whenever it is not needed. Consider this advice for your writing, too!
I got your email! I’m out with the kids at the moment but when I can get some time to myself at some point today, we’re going to work on this!
Hi! I second everyone’s suggestion to get a professional to edit your profile. I used to do this — and for a very reasonable fee (that eCyrano guy charges three times what I did for the same thing) — but I’ve taken a break from it. I think I might go back to it eventually when I have a little more time (like when my youngest is in school full time in two years). In an effort to get some practice and keep my skills sharp in this off-time, I’d be willing to take a look at your profile and see where there’s room for improvement (no charge). Would you be willing to share it with me? If so, just shoot me an email.
Echoing what everyone has has said: love ins’t enough to make a relationship successful. You two are not compatible. The bad news is you didn’t figure that our before you got married. The good news is that you didn’t have kids together yet and you haven’t been married that long. You can end the marriage fairly seamlessly and move on and still have plenty of time to find someone you are compatible with. Please, though, do seek counseling so you don’t repeat the same patterns.
