bloodymediocrity
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Your boyfriend’s grades aren’t your business to worry about.
This might sound callous, but what is your boyfriend bringing to the table that makes all this stress and anxiety worthwhile? Being in a relationship, especially at your age, isn’t supposed to cause so much anxiety. What are you getting out of maintaining a long distance relationship with him besides an ulcer?
One thing I think you’ll discover more as time goes on and you have your healing journey with a professional is that your forgiveness you feel with your mother will wear out. Your mother is absolutely as culpable as your father for not protecting you and your siblings. She’s made her position to you that your gross-ass father is more important to her than her children. She’s made this clear with her words, her actions, and her in-action.
By letting your dad verbally abuse his daughters, she’s effectively endorsing them. Keeping a relationship with your mother will bring you nothing but pain until you have years of therapy under your belt.
I’m sorry that this is reality. You don’t deserve the treatment they’ve given you and your siblings.
Good point @Anon. Something isn’t quite adding up here.
I was definitely a mid-to-late bloomer, but I still had my first crushes around age 12. My 12 year old daughter has had crushes and all of her friends are all always talking about their crushes. It’s kind of the thing 12 year old (girls in particular) are known for.
It’s not like it’s bad or anything to have not had a crush until a later age, but the assertion that it’s weird is…odd.
“Like bruh, did u think a 12-14 yr old would just waltz into the forum lol.”
Yeah, I absolutely did. It’s not unheard of.
There are plenty of advice seekers of all ages. While I don’t know the youngest I’ve encountered, I’ve encountered 11 and 12 year olds seeking advice on other sites. I think you’re underestimating how internet savy kids can be and how unsupervised many of them are.
I gotta ask again since the question @Anonymousse asked wasn’t answered…
…this guy is roughly the same age as you, right?
Maybe I’m missing something, but why is the crush’s best friend part of this at all? Do you also want to be her friend, or are they a package deal and you can’t do anything with the crush without the friend also being there?
He has no means of making you leave. If he wants to move out and sublease his room he’s well within his rights* but he has no ground here.
My reply would be “I think you wrote that wrong. You made it sound like you’re renting out my room, which doesn’t make sense, since it’s my room. I assume you mean you are renting out your room, right?”
It’s *possible* that TT is using a VPN to connect to work or something like that, which might cause their IP might show as the same regardless of physical location. Unlikely? Maybe. But it’s not impossible. I’m willing to take them at their word here anyways. But given OP’s repeated posts under different usernames I understand other people’s skepticism.
In my experience, I think you’ll discover that once you leave a toxic situation like with your parents, the more you’ll start to realize how toxic that situation was. The more distance you have, the more clear the situation will appear and you will wonder how you tolerated it for so long. Navigating that with a therapist is essential in the long term.
Regardless of if you’re moved out or not, the end advice is the same: Stay away + therapy. Build a good life with a healthy social circle. Your mom will not be of help to you as long as your dad is a part of her life and probably longer.
Good on you for being ready to take that next step.
I think you need to be prepared for when you go no-contact with your dad, that keeping in contact with your mom may be impossible. It seems pretty clear she’s pretty under his control as well. Whatever contact you have with her, assume anything you say will get back to him.
Good luck in getting and maintaining distance. I know these things are difficult, but your father has shown himself to be a toxic hurricane. There is no benefit he can provide to your life.
I have a question that I don’t think is serious enough for it’s own thread, so I thought I’d pose it to the group here.
So post-divorce, I’m having a little trouble navigating what level of contact is ok with family and friends where the relationship originated through my ex. Like, if while we were married I considered them friends even though I only knew them through the ex, is it ok to maintain occasional contact? Is it ok to send a Holiday card?
When it comes to the ex’s family, the ex basically estranged herself from most of her family as we were getting divorced and they’ve kept in touch a bit with me anyways, so I assume that’s probably ok. But any time I have a conversation with a friend of the ex I feel a bit guilty, like I’m breaking some kind of unwritten rule. But at the same time, I considered a lot of these people my friend previously and I’d like them to know that I still think of them fondly at the very least.
For reference, the ex and I divorced quickly and reasonably amicably, but I cut contact completely and blocked her everywhere possible for my own mental health.
Am I overthinking this?
Sorry Anon. This situation sucks for you.
I made the mistake reading the comments on a post about Kutcher/Kunis’s “apology” and was sickened by the number of people still giving DM the benefit of doubt with comments like “was there even actually any evidence?” often followed up by “any man’s life can just be ruined by word of mouth”
MotherEffer. We just a whole frigging trial. Do you know how much evidence there needs to be to get an actual conviction for SA? Yes, there’s evidence. You can’t say “innocent until proven guilty” after they’ve fricking been convicted.
Absolutely infuriating.
Whelp, for the very first time since I got divorced (and if I’m being honestly, about the 3rd or 4th time in my life), I got asked out on a date. I’m really not looking to date right now (I’m still processing a lot) so I’m trying to find the nicest way to say “I’d love to get to know you better as friends, but please don’t expect to date me.”
This is a new problem and I guess I sort of feel flattered about it but mostly I’m worried that I accidentally led someone on.
Wish me luck in this new world.
